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in the past, i used to date a 17 year old guy when i was 13. i knew the age gap was too big but i continued to date him for 3 months. then a few months after the break up i dated a 17 year old girl at 14 for 7 months. and then a few months after that i dated a boy my age at 15 for 2 weeks thinking he was too immature for me. (i was his first girlfriend ever and he didn't know how to treat me right). when i talk to older people i fall so easily and i confess too easily and they always let me date them, until i realize how bad our age gap is and end up "victimizing" myself. i want them to come into my life just to realize how messed up a relationship is with an older person. i can't even count how many times i've said my age and the other gets shocked and embarrassed yet still continues a "platonic" relationship with me. somehow i don't realize in the moment because i feel the thrill is so good, so once the realization kicks in it hits me like a punch in the chest. its almost like a bad habit to talk to older people atp. i don't know how i got this way but i know some factors may include having pretty strict parents, depression, introvertedness at school, and idk i really don't know.
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You must look older than what your age is.
ReplyIt's a complicated issue, and the reasons for your attraction to older people aren't necessarily "bad". For example, you sound like you might be more intelligent than your peers, so naturally you'd seek out people who are older and maybe more intelligent or at least more mature than your age group. Maybe your mind is on a higher level, in terms of wisdom or sensitivity (i.e. not the silly youth stuff your friends may be into) so naturally you'd look to older people for companionship and that turns into more than platonic.
Bad parents are another valid reason. You mentioned your parents are overly strict and it seems like they don't notice or care about your depression. So in your mind, you never had real parents. That's another reason why you'd seek out older authority figures to fill that vacuum.
I guess what I'm saying is please don't feel any shame, guilt or error in your ways. You're most likely just trying to fill a void in your life. Makes sense. The fault is on the older person's side if they are taking advantage of the situation. That's the real hazard. Like you said, they all claim to be platonic friends but clearly they have a more manipulative agenda. I guess the good news is you're getting older, wiser, and I assume you're nearing 18 by now? Pretty soon age won't be an issue, and furthermore you'll be experienced enough to know when someone is manipulating you.
I also dated older people. There weren't any major disasters but things just didn't work out for a number of reasons. My solution was to stop dating. lol Can't say I'm happy with that but at least I haven't had my heart broken in a while. Keep learning, adjusting your strategy, and you'll get through this ok.
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