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Have I got past my days of depression and now it's all emptiness...?
7 months ago · 2 · Happiness
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I haven't been truly depressed for a long time. Those days felt terrible. But now it's all emptiness, I feel like. The kinda emptiness that's suffocating for a while, it's slowly and steadily consuming, just as slow as time. Maybe the days I was depressed made me be a completely corrupted person, and I'm still going through it in a weird way, or maybe they messed with me so much I'm feeling numb to cope with it. I mean, who knows? These days I don't feel anything but void and emptiness. I hate this feeling though, it's like I want to make a change within but no place is reassuring enough to start. And yet, everything remains unchanged. Even hearts of steel suffer through this life. Inside, I always wanted to be the kid that was still going through it, I never wanted to grow up. Never seen or understood what people who actually have lives and kids were going through. Their lives are probably pretty devoid too. I mean growing up is the worst part of life, what does it mean to go through all these things when you're old enough to contemplate your last breath and everything goes to waste? I'm not happy just in case you didn't notice, but I'm also not really sad or depressed, just empty. And if you ever find anything I say offensive or take it out of context, it's your fault. We are not playing victims and lawyers here, and I'm not going to try to say things a different way because I was pretty straight forward, true, sincere and didn't hurt anyone. I just wish I could be more happy these days, and I like making these posts.
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You sound exhausted not devoid. Like emotions have been so hard so long that the only way to cope is to check out from them. So you feel nothing.
There's a lot to be said for the small things in life. The impact of a simple pleasure. A hot mug of caffeine in your hands, steam radiating effortlessly from it.
This Internet stranger challenges you to find one simple pleasure of your own for today
ReplyHit send too soon. Find your small thing and be wholly in the moment of it. Practice your feels and you can hopefully turn them back on again
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