Using my brain has become a chore

Fuck it, I don’t care anymore. But inside I do, it’s just that I feel like I fucked up my brain. It’s disconcerting and concerning. I feel like every time I use it, it doesn’t feel normal. Should one struggle this much with putting things together? What am I accomplishing by thinking? Thing is if I don’t use my brain, admittedly the most important thing in the human body, I might die of an accident or something terrible. I’m just mad worried all the time, that’s all. Please tell me I’m not the only one. I turned 28 and I feel odd about most things in life now. I have developed a beer belly and I feel bodily and mentally unhealthy. Trying to enjoy life doing all these things, whatever way I can. The thing is I’m so demanding, I’m not like other animals who rest all day and do nothing. Now that I have things, might as well use them. To be perfectly truthful, I feel like people don’t appreciate me enough. And I know that sounds selfish, I’m also an attention seeker. What eyes are you wearing on while reading this post? Hate? Indifference? Annoyance? All I want is for someone to make my day, see the spark that got me going or my reason to live doesn’t help me anymore, it got really blurry and weird. Giving up on the fact that I’m 28 years old and I’m as lost as a coconut floating on the beach.