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To give context, I lost my mother a year ago and have been living with my dad ever since, I don't really know why I'm here or why should I go on with life, I don't even have a good relationship with my father. My friends are there but honestly, my existence isn't really that relevant for them, it would be okay if I'm there, but it wouldn't really change anything. Currently, I don't have any plans on taking my life but I have the thoughts. If I was given the choice to stay or to leave, I'd choose to leave. I don't believe that I don't serve any purpose as everyone can find their purpose, but I don't really have the will on finding that purpose. I hate making relationships as it is getting harder for me to leave, making me more depressed about life, I feel like I have nowhere to go, the living or the dead. But I don't really wanna stay. This is a rant, I pretty much heard every advice, but I'd still read them otherwise.
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Even if you're struggling to find/see a purpose to life, what would be a good one? Like looking at it objectively, outside of your own situation
Consider other people's perspectives and lives and see what ideas they have
Some chase money, some chase relationships, some chase travel, some chase leisure/relaxation
Those are all good things, but they somehow keep leaving people wanting more.
One that I've found is love and helping people, they go hand and hand. This one won't run out. Our world is so full of darkness and lostness. Why not try living for brightening up other people's lives and helping them in the ways they need?
It's weird, but it's like the more you give of yourself to others, the more you receive.
I have a random idea to try. Next time you go to a store, get some flowers, or even just 1 rose. Give it to someone you don't know and say I just wanted to do something nice today, here you go! I bet they'll have a smile on their face. And how cool that you could be the one who brightened someone else's day!
Let me know if you want to talk about other ideas :)
ReplyOh my goodness. I have reached the same epiphany. So what am I doing about it. Finding others in sorrow and taking 30 seconds to type and say hello, I see you. I really do. I understand where you are at and I'm sorry that life, and the world are so hard. They are.
I'm endeavoring to throw some kindness into the world and not worry if it lands, Im not looking to be validated or recognizing for the efforts. I just need to know I'm doing what I can to put some kindness in the world. Be the change I hope to see and hope there are enough like minds out there to help smooth out those rough edges of living.
Thank you for your kindness and please keep being you
ReplyI'm not the best at advice but, even if you can't see your purpose now, doesn't mean you won't find it eventually. It doesn't get better over night, and sometimes the time it takes seems to take forever but death is not the way out. I used to be the same way and i still struggle 4 years later, but if me from 4 years ago saw who I am know, they would cry. They would be so happy of all the progress shown. You can't die until you have truly lived.
ReplySmall acts of kindness and sometimes when life is too hard that small act has to be for yourself.
Admitting I'm not okay today and that's okay. We're not all okay all of the time.
You say your friends are there but you feel nearly irrelevant to them.
I challenge to reach out to one of them, not for support but to share an anecdote from your time as friends. Something that ha stuck with you. Let them know you were just thinking of it and it made you feel.....
Eg I was just remembering when we ....and it made me smile. Thanks Buddy, hope you are having a nice day.
The odds are if something has stuck with you it means something to them too. You may have just made them smile. You are relevant and you matter more than you know
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