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so i'm 12 years old, i'm in 8th grade right now and I've done something i'm really not proud of, but at the same time it all feels like a fucking game where i'm the master. essentially in 6th grade me and my male friends (i'm a female) were talking about dicks and sex, and other stuff like that. they said something that was obviously false and when i called them out they were like "what experience do you have?" which lead me to lying about having slept with 3 highschoolers and an 8th grader. at first they didn't believe me but i doubled down and kept pretending, eventually they started to believe it. i kept feeding the fire, letting them blackmail me and letting them think they're in charge of the situation when it doesn't actually exist.
the information is that i have "slept with" 3 highschoolers, two of them are Korean- American(Alex and Jin), one of them is black(Evan), and the 8th grader, who is just American (Rowan). i want to say than none of these people exist and if they do i have no idea who they are.
this lie only exists at school, any of my family or my friends from my outside life have no idea this has happened.
i feel like i'm a horrible person but i can't bring myself to stop the lie. i love the feelig
of this, its like i'm waiting for this to crash in on itself instead of telling the truth. i don't know if i'm just a bad person or if i'm just less mentally ok then i think i am. i've made a few other posts on here and people think i might be a sociopath but you can't be diagnosed until your 18 and i'm only 12. i've been diagnosed with some other shit but i generally just feel horrible, not horrible for doing this though. i feel horrible for not feeling bad about creating this horrific fucked up lie. i feel so exhausted but also entertained. please give me any advice or judgment and i'll answer any questions you guys have
thank you so much
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There's a saying that the truth will set you free, and that saying is true. Tell the truth, let all the effects from it happen and play out. It might be rough for a bit, but things will level out. Ask for forgiveness if needed, and especially forgive yourself. The pursuit of goodness and truth (in all situations) will help in bringing peacefulness to your life. Keeping up lies is exhausting, a peaceful clear outlook is better :) let me know if you'd like to discuss specific ideas to go about this, I know it's difficult
ReplyPut this behind you and don't tell any more lies.
ReplyYou didn’t do anything wrong so don’t feel bad. They were attacking you, so in order to protect yourself you created a mask to hide behind. We all do it. I repeat: we all do it, kids & adults alike.
The only problem in your case is that the lie is getting bigger (because of them spreading it). But that’s kinda funny isn’t it? It proves how stupid people are. I think you have every right to feel empowered due to their stupidity. They think they can blackmail you with nothing but hot air lol.
ReplyI know what you mean by the feeling of having a world at school that family knows nothing about and feels great, until it doesn't. I've told many lie's about myself at school, but now I feel like some of my best friends don't really know me, just be careful it could comeback, and bite you in the ass, I'm an Undocumented Cuban, in the USA illegally lie is really just my life at this point..............
Replytruth hurts. truth weighs down on your consciousness...
but sometimes lies hurt more.
you are not insane, just pressured. you are not a bad person, just afraid.
you can do this, do what you need to feel better! <3
Replymaybe make it true
Reply