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I received a called yesterday from my manager in regards to an incident and that how he went through so much to get me over to his team and due to my terrible personality no one ever liked me and no one ever cared about me. From his impression is that I am like a loser that no one wants but because he still has a little faith in me that's why he hired me to be on his team. He even tells me how many people talks behind my back and how much they dislike me. Those words that came out of his mouth stabbed me right in my chest. I do not need everyone to like me or care about anyone's hate but knowing the fact that he sad that out loud makes me wonder why did he even bother hiring me if I am such a terrible person to work with. He said I am never flexible to help others and that I do not work around other's schedule. That hurts me the most because I never say no to anyone when they need my help. I always try to help people around me as much as possible and if I don't know how to I try to figure it out and provide them the answer. I don't even know what to say any more other than the fact that I am starting to doubt my self as a person. Am I even worthy of being around people? Did my many years or hard work not tell you the type of person that I am? Am I really lacking in that many ways? Do I really need people to like me? I didn't want to tell my husband about what I went through because I know he would feel upset as well and I don't need him to be upset for me since he is a well likes person by all his colleagues he wouldn't actually know exactly how I feel. I think I probably sound so negative or stupid but I am just trying to express my feelings because I don't have any place or anyone to talk to since it is my own burden that I feel. But thank you for reading this post
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