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I spent all yesterday staying up to pick my roommate up from work. I dozed off a few times and I asked him if his grandmother could pick him up, since it wasn't safe for me to drive being so sleepy like that. When he arrived home, I got up to make sure if he was okay. I needed to go take my medicine, so I started eating some bread and, before I knew it, I was unconscious on the floor. My roommate called 911 and I started to regain consciousness by then. I was able to hear my roommate, but it was hard to move in that moment. I was taken to the ER, got my vitals and everything checked and they told me I was okay to go home, but I'm just still shaken up by the experience.
In an instant, I fell onto the floor. That's never happened to me before. My roommate said he heard a loud thud. I didn't realize I fell. All I remember was feeling a little dizzy after chewing my bread. I have health issues: GERD and HBP. When I was at the ER, my nose was stuffy, so I knew my GERD was flaring up, meaning that my GERD could've been the cause of me passing out. My vitals were fine. I also felt nauseous throughout my time at the ER, but when I used the bathroom after I got some rest, the nauseous feeling instantly went away. I've been suspecting that I've had IBS for a while now, since I can't eat certain foods, but now I'm more certain that I have it, as one of the symptoms is fainting. I'll be going to my primary care doctor tomorrow to discuss everything.
This month has been an absolute hell. I'm sorry if I keep bringing this up, but my roommate is autistic and he's so hard to deal with. He found a new job, but I had to support us both off of my income for a month, because he still hasn't gotten his unemployment money. So basically, he wasn't bringing in ANY money for an entire month. I've been stressed out about that because I've been supporting us both and he still hadn't helped out around the house. He still wasn't taking care of his pet. He still wasn't cleaning up behind himself. He still didn't help with anything. He still doesn't do anything, now. And it seems like no matter how many times I tell him that I cannot do everything by myself, he still refuses to help.
To relieve my stress, I've been eating things I wasn't supposed to, like pizza, ice cream, dairy, chocolate, cheesy foods, greasy foods, fast food, everything that triggers my GERD. And I knew it's been flaring up for a long while as well, but I didn't care, because I just wanted to feel good. Eating makes me feel better, until something like this happens. Then it makes me want to never eat again lol.
I'm trying to relax at the moment. I've been eating the right foods, getting some rest, and I've made sure to drink plenty of water, since I haven't been doing that often. I've been taking care of my roommate's needs to the point where I completely forgot about myself and what I needed; I think that is what hurts me the most about this situation. I can't find another roommate, I can't rely on him to do better. All I can do is cope until the lease is up. It's a living hell.
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Can you move in with your folks, relative, or another friend and sublet your room?
ReplyNope. My family never really had much room in the house for everyone to live there. I wanted my own room and my own space. I also work from home, so I can't go back to my parents' house. I don't have any contact with any relatives. I don't have many friends, either. In fact, my roommate and my ex are my only friends aside from my sisters. My little sister wants to move out, but I don't want her to move out knowing she should stay home and finish her studies for college. I don't think my older sister doesn't plan on leaving my parents' house. She's a bit of a late bloomer and we just recently got into a situation where I don't trust her to live with me any longer. My ex has his own issues to deal with, but we agreed that if he could find a better job then we'd live together, but I'm not counting on that. He's an ex for a reason and he has a lot of mental issues that he refuses to go to therapy for. I really want to live by myself, but I don't make enough to where I'd live comfortably. I'd be living paycheck to paycheck if I was on my own, and I don't really like that. Where I'm from, it's actually cheaper to rent a 2 bedroom apartment for two working people than to rent a 1 bedroom apartment on your own. Idk. I'll figure something out when the lease is up.
ReplyYou said you work from home right? If so why not move to a city/town where it’s easier to live off of what you make? I know some places in Oklahoma you can live comfortably on 16.25/hour
ReplySorry if I am not being helpful, I just really empathize for your scenario and I want to help you
ReplyNo no you're fine. As far as moving goes, I don't feel comfortable moving on my own, but I've thought about it. I'd feel better if I had someone with me to help me move and feel comfortable. I've never been to Oklahoma, but I've been to Georgia and Alabama once before. My step-sister and niece lives in Alabama, but she used to be very abusive (physically and verbally) to my sisters and I growing up. I know that if I stay down there with her, she's going to take advantage of me being there and have me babysit my niece every chance she gets. As far as Georgia, I don't have contact with any of my relatives there, so I'd be alone.
I went to my primary care doctor yesterday and she told me that I could've fainted due to stress, my change in diet, and/or dehydration. She wasn't worried about it being neurological or heart related, so that's a relief, but I grew up watching my mom faint often and it's a very scary thing. My mom told me that her fainting spells are caused by stress. If I stay here with my roommate, I'd live comfortably financially since he's making more at his new job, but I risk getting too stressed out and fainting. Had I drove to get him the day I fainted, I could've gotten into a car accident or worse. He relies on me for so much and I really feel like I'm his mother. He tells me he'll change but I know he won't. If I live with my ex, I risk getting stressed out as well. My ex is a great guy, I've known him for 7 years, but he gets himself into a lot of stupid situations. Over the years, he's been to jail twice, he's been in many accidents, lost his job a few times, and he has anger issues to the point where he needs to throw things or kick things. I know that he loves me; I love him, too, but I feel like I have to keep him out of trouble sometimes. Idk. He scares me sometimes. One minute he's calm and, if he's provoked, he'll flip out the next minute.
I feel like, no matter what decision I choose, I'm fucked. I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't.
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