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I am Dave. Or at least, I used to be. I don't know how long it has been since I died, but it feels like an eternity. I remember the moment of my death vividly. I was driving home from work, listening to some music, when a truck ran a red light and smashed into my car. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, then everything went black.
I expected to see a bright light, or maybe some angels, or maybe nothing at all. But instead, I found myself in a dark and silent void. No sound, no light, no sensation. Just me and my thoughts.
At first, I thought it was some kind of coma or dream. I tried to wake up, to move, to scream, but nothing happened. I was trapped in my own mind, with no way out.
I wondered if anyone missed me, if anyone knew I was gone. I thought about my family, my friends, my coworkers. I hoped they were okay, that they would remember me fondly. I felt a surge of sadness and regret for all the things I left undone, all the things I never said.
I also wondered what happened to the truck driver. Did he survive? Did he feel any remorse? Did he face any consequences? I felt a mix of anger and pity for him. He took away my life, but he also ruined his own.
I tried to calm myself down, to rationalize my situation. Maybe this was some kind of test, or purgatory, or limbo. Maybe there was still a chance for me to go somewhere else, somewhere better. Maybe there was a purpose for this.
But as time went on, and nothing changed, I started to lose hope. I realized that this was it. This was my afterlife. A never-ending nightmare of isolation and boredom.
I started to go crazy.
I replayed every memory I had, every detail of my life, over and over again. But it wasn't enough. It only made me more aware of what I had lost, what I would never have again.
I tried to create new memories, new scenarios, new fantasies. But they were hollow and fake. They only made me more aware of what I lacked, what I would never experience again.
I tried to distract myself with logic puzzles, math problems, trivia questions. But they were meaningless and trivial. They only made me more aware of how pointless and futile everything was.
I tried to talk to myself, to keep some semblance of sanity and company. But it was pathetic and depressing. It only made me more aware of how alone and lonely I was.
I tried to sleep, to escape from this reality for a while. But I couldn't. There was no day or night, no cycle or rhythm. There was only the void.
I tried to kill myself, to end this misery once and for all. But I couldn't. There was no body or pain, no blood or death. There was only the void.
I gave up.
I stopped thinking, stopped feeling, stopped caring.
I became numb.
I became nothing.
And yet, here I am.
Still thinking.
Still feeling.
Still caring.
Why?
Why can't I stop?
Why can't I let go?
Why can't I die?
What is this?
What am I?
Who am I?
...
I am Dave.
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