Unthinkable

I froze, our world imploding.

Watched in slow motion, blade falling

Unable to process, move, or speak

2 hours passed, could barely breathe

You spoke those words; July ripped soul from chest

Unthinkable, The temple broke,

losing you, Losing Us, our sacred spaces in smoke

Three young angels, sleeping peacefully

Unaware of the touch-paper lit

Their futures interrupted, undeserving of it

__-

Resisting every day, denying each hour

The unthinkable un-thought

Telling myself Love means letting go.

Your choice, my heart on the floor

Beyond shattered, more returning to sand..

My soul in the dust,

unaware of the rust

That you couldn’t stand.

___--

14 months, of delaying the blow

Every moment fighting letting go

Every moment, hoping you’d come home

Each fleeting glimpse, a figure I once knew

Breathtaking. Breaking me, despair for what once was true

In those eyes, another seems to take it’s place

In strained expressions, now on a stranger’s face

In the actions – still defying belief

Our Family, beached upon the reef

___-

Where was love, distance has come to be

Unsure of what each moment brings; displaced Eternity

From clear vision of our future, to the fog of war & grief

From the greatest heights my heart has known, to the greatest pain beneath

Fuelled by coffee & adrenaline, I fight my way out of bed

Faking smiles, and peace, feigning stable thought

Dials turn from Green to Red

___-

How will I ever feel again, or take our pictures down.

An “Everest climb” to take off the Ring, to let darkness take it’s crown

What will the children ever think, please God they’ll know I tried

To save the Love which gave them life

Preserve it in their father’s heart, where it may just abide.

One day, if prayers are heard, she'll know the truth carried

That real Love, beauty, and honesty stood with us that day we married.