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My mother is severely mentally ill (depression, anxiety) and she does not believe that she is, thus she takes no positive steps against her struggles, and does nothing but cause huge damage to others and herself. My father has psychotic depression and he kinda doesn't do much. Never did. My big sister, similar to all of us four siblings, has been abused by my mother and neglected by my father, and it caused her severe issues with her heart, reproductive system, and inevitably mental stability. She too denies needing psychological help, and keeps the cycle of abuse going strong. Our eldest brother seems to have got himself together somewhat, but still suffers greatly from my mom's abuse. My big brother is the one tending to all these scarred, disturbed individuals (he's the middle child, both the eldest brother and sister are older than him, and I'm 11 years younger than him), and he understands mental illness quite better than all of us, but understanding on its own is inefficient in the face of people strongly denying their need for medical help. He has to deal with all our episodes and outbursts which certainly affects him greatly, yet he doesn't suffer from a particular mental issue. I've been diagnosed with depression four months ago and have been on SSRIs and stimulants since, while attending therapy sessions, in order to not kill myself from all the pressure. I'm far younger than my siblings; they're all in their 30s while I am 19. Our parents are 57 and 67. I can't seem to cope properly with all the neglect/abuse I've endured, and it makes me feel inferior to my siblings as they have certainly been through worse. However, the fact that my mom didn't even want me or wasn't expecting a child at that age- she was incapable of taking care of me as much as she did my siblings, makes things relatively as bad, or kind of worse for me. Also, the divorce of my parents happened when I was 18, whereas my siblings were just chill about our dad and not thinking much of their relationship. It almost feels like my entire family started to crumble from the moment I was born, and things only went downhill since. I'm okay with that, but my family falling apart is really unbelievable and hard to grasp for me, and it made me lose my mind. It only gets worse.
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im so sorry for you and i feel for you. nobody should go through what you go through and im sorry youve had to see your mentally ill parents your whole life, you are loved and people do care for you. life will get better, may not be soon but it will happen, it may even get worse here and there but i promise you that you are stong and capable of being happy, i love you and care for you <3
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