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Recently I went on a trip to see my two long distance best friends. I met them a few years ago online and we have been besties ever since. You might be asking what the issue is, well, around the same time that I met these boys, I met another guy. This guy quickly became my friend like the other two did. Except something did feel slightly different. Well fast forward a few months and he admits that he likes me. The problem is that we are hours away from each other, so we did not want to legitimately date. Well that ended up flying out the window after we continued to talk every day for months and flirt. Then I went to where these boys lived and I saw my two besties and him. There I actually kissed him for the first time. I ended up going home extremely happy with how my life was. Well little did I know that like two months later it would all change.
He started to distance himself from me, and I was so unbelievably saddened by it. He would make excuses saying he was busy or had a lot of homework, etc. I ended up confronting him and he basically told me that we talked too much and he began to get sick of it. Except I was so confused because he previously would get mad when I chose to talk to my besties over him. Anyways, I definitely acted irrationally, but I was a young girl and he was the first relationship that I had. He ended up telling me that he wanted space and would text me when he wanted to.
It was safe to say I was devastated. At first I thought it was because he was the closest i've had to a boyfriend, but now I realize it was because I lost a best friend. We went from talking everyday to no contact. Even now I still miss moments with him.
This is where my dilemma comes into play. This recent trip I had, I saw him for the first time after two years. I already knew some information about him since we stopped talking as my besties told me. He has a girlfriend, of I believe almost a year now.
Basically we pretended that the other did not exist. Although I was willing to be civil to him because I honestly was indifferent to him up until this point. Then all the sudden its like some of the feelings rushed back in after two years.
I feel insane because its been such a long time and I thought I was over it, but now I am questioning things. Like do I still have some feelings for him? Or do I just miss his friendship?
I am kind of at a loss. I also have been thinking a lot about his current girlfriend. It hurts me to admit, but mostly things like why does he still like her, but yet lost interest in me. I almost feel like since his rejection came from such a highly valued place, my view of myself was obscured. Except I thought I got over it, but now I am not so sure. I almost wish that I was in her shoes because somehow she kept him interested for this long and because she lives near them all. I just do not know what to feel anymore and I just feel stupid.
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ReplyMove on. Let him live his life with his girlfriend and don't let her live in your head "rent-free". Also, in my humble opinion and experience, long distance relationships are not the best for a romantic relationship. Romantic love blossoms when time, space, compatibility and chemistry are elements present in the romantic relationship. Time and space are missing in long distance relationship, and can work sometimes if it's not extended distance, but can be difficult to work if the distance is extended and there's no pre-existing foundation of mutual trust, mutual love and mutual respect. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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