What Now?

Do I do this?

Do I do that?

What can I do to make YOU happy?

You pace around the room as I fidget with my hands.

I hyperventilate but YOU don't care.

I can scream I can cry.

But YOU would act like you care.

I don't want to be near YOU.

But I am too afraid to voice that.

Now that YOU left.

I have been happier.

But YOU continue to call me.

The worst part is that YOU are MY dad.

Too scared to talk back.

Too scared you would yell.

We drift away, and I wish you would rot in hell.

My anger rises as you light that fire.

I want to scream and kick my legs.

But you won't let me.

Something is holding me back.

And I don't know what it is.

It makes me feel powerless.

Vulnerable.

Alone.

Pathetic.

Empty.

And weak.

No child should feel like this.

No father should act like this.

I spend my time venting to strangers.

When I can't even face you.

Atleast my mother understands.

After all, she has witnessed it.

One on one.

My emotions are going all over the place.

The fear of dissapointement settling in.

The worry is starting to begin.

I sit in my chair, bouncing my right leg.

Fidgeting with my hands.

What the hell do I do now?

Now that you want to take my mothers children back.

And that..

Includes me.