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My wife asks me occasionally:
what do you sacrifice for us? What??!!
I stay silent at first and then I whisper back that I do nothing and she does everything...
I can't tell her or myself the truth for the fear that I make said sacrifice then all real...
If I answer it out loud and risk hearing myself whilst unleashing the overwhelming pain I step on everyday, a pain that would burn me on the spot (maybe it should):
what I sacrifice???
Calm. Kindness, kinship. Love. Happiness whatever that is.
I’ve given up all chance at inner peace.
I’ve made my mind a sunless space.
I share my dreams with ghosts.
I wake up every day to a failed equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion: I’m damned for the choices I took and for all the actions I do now still.
My endless anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape, a path of damnation...
All for you. For YOU!!!!
What is my SACRIFICE??!!
I burn every day my decency for my family's future.
I burn my life, to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see.
No, the treacherous path that started my life will never have a mirror, or an audience, or the light of gratitude from you or the kids whom I love.
What do I sacrifice?
EVERYTHING!!!!
Everything I was and never will be again...
I murdered my soul already as I wait for this crumbling body to finally die.
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Do you provide financially for you family ?
ReplyYes.. amongst a lot lot more... Anyway, ingratitude is the worst really...
Replythis is what she should read
You don’t have to continue unheard.
She’s just a person.
Sometimes the meeker personality gets stuck underneath the bigger personalities.
She’ll be fine. It’s ok to match her attitude and say your part too.
…don’t wait till you crumble.
Reply