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I feel like I may have left a big part of my life that was going well for me behind because I really thought my fantasies and dreams would all come true by making that sacrifice of something good in my life that is important to me and hoping that by sacrificing that, I'd get something good in return that is actually more important to me. What's more than that, is that I didn't realize what I had until it was too late and I had already cut it from my life and now I'm left with a lot less than before, problems I desperately need to fix but I'm so distraught that nothing good came from all this that I can even focus on fixing things. Now I feel nothing but regret. Why would I move? Everything was going pretty good so why did I ruin it by moving? And all for some boy that I don't even know? I tried to kid myself into thinking that I moved because I hated what I had before but in hindsight, I hated nothing. I just wanted more. I may have even been more in love with the idea of me and him than him as a person, which is awful, but I think its true. I really am just desperate and can't leave things alone. What's worse than that, none of this is his fault. He's allowed to like whoever he wants and if that's not you, then that's okay. Don't get me wrong, it hurts, but he's also a person and you cannot control who he likes. It's not her fault either. She's so lovely and kind it's really no wonder her likes her, she deserves him arguably more than I do, because he likes her. Who am I to get in the way of them? Liking him was not my fault either, he genuinely sounds really nice so it's understandable why I like him. At the end of the day, it all just hurts so much. All my friends tell me how cute we would be. It's a real pity that I didn't get the proper chance to really understand and get to know him properly because I can't help but think that I could have been in her position right now, if I had just moved sooner, if I had just acted quickly instead of holding back, then he really would have had the chance to meet me and me him. It all just sucks. And it sucks how I can't blame anyone. I will say that I am annoyed at myself though, for completely altering a key part of my life right now for a boy who likes another girl and honestly, barely knows me.
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Whatever happened happened there's no use of over thinking it just try move on I mean I know it's not easy but darling trust me u will very soon find the one destined for you till then focus on yourself and cheer up 🖤
ReplyIt happens. Your move wasn’t dumb. If it wasn’t him, it would have been something else. Keep that characteristic. It’ll take you places :)
I’ve done the same thing. He married my friend. They divorced. I took my turn. Then we broke up. Now it’s a disaster.
Hopefully we’ll be friends again. We might have grey heir by then… and honestly, I’d still be grateful.
You may have created an intense fantasy in your mind about a relationship between the two of you…and the scary part - he had absolutely no idea. He wasn’t a part of it.
So you can’t expect him to read your mind.
(I’m talking to my old self.)
People are just people. Unique, difficult, complicated - just like you. We, she, he, they don’t deserve anyone - we just choose :)
Make the most of where you’re at now.
Maybe be friends for now. The more light on a person, the more you see. You might not like as much as you think you do ;)
Haha- or maybe you’ll like him more!!
Whatever happens, the truth is always best.
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