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I am going to attempt to make this as simple as I possibly can. The basic information is; that I am 16 and I have been dating a guy for almost a year on the internet. He lives on the other side of the year and is a Muslim ( I am a Christian ). I am ashamed to admit that I feel like I've been falling for someone else. A guy who I've known since we were 5. He's a year older than me and just so amazing, and we share the same beliefs and interests. However, I am obviously committed. Right.
I've always been the kind of person who believes loyalty comes first, which is why I won't do anything about my love thing, whatever it is. Every time the feeling comes up I shove it down and tell myself that it's wrong ( OBVIOUSLY ) and that I have a partner who loves me very much.
But I am also not supposed to be dating this guy. My parents are strict about social media and I am not allowed to have any of it. So not only am I dating a guy online but I am also doing it secretly. Another thing I am ashamed of.
But I love him.
But I also love the other guy.
Who's not even mine.
Who probably does not love me.
I sound so sick and I honestly hate myself for everything. I keep going in between. Do I stay with the guy who loves me and cares for me, but could potentially ruin the relationship with my parents and my religion? Or do I leave him for someone who probably does not want me, but someone who is statistically much better for me?
Please give me some advice if you can. I know I sound stupid, ungrateful, foolish. Because I am, which I will admit. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
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I feel u should follow ur gut. Something similar happen to me I'm 17 and I made a mistake when I was 12(giving my body away) ever since the man has been around but at the age of 15 I met someone just like u we weren't supposed to even talk he was a year old and my across the street neighbor I followed my gut and dated him for 3 months it has the best that has happen to me. But unfortunately didn't last long bc the man knew and I had to protect my ex so I sadly ended our relationship
ReplyBut how do you break up with someone you love.. you know?
ReplyI totally know bc I had to look at my Daniel in the eyes and tell him "please we got to finish this I'm trying to protect you" tell him the truth that I couldn't tell my Daniel. Tell him exactly how you feel, the confusion, the guilt of lying and keeping it a secret.
ReplyWhat do you mean when you say he lives on the other side of the year? It is a bit silly to leave a guy for one who probably doesn't want you. The Muslim doesn't seem to be too promising either because with you being a Christian his family probably won't accept you. If you are in school concentrate on your studies and enjoy yourself instead of burdening yourself with a problem like this. You are only 16 so you have plenty of time to meet other guys. Keep your options open.
ReplyThis is excellent advice. At such a young age you should make your education a priority. And it doesn't matter what religion the person is - long distance relationships are incredibly hard to manage, especially at your age. Incompatible religions do, however, complicate things even more.
Focus on your education, earn your college degree. Then after you have your career going you will be more prepared for a romantic relationship. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
ReplyI know this feels crazy and overwhelming now, but when you look back on this you’ll see it wasn’t as bad as it seems. If he lives on the other side of the world and isn’t coming to you anytime soon, you should see what happens with this other guy. You should definitely tell him that you’re going to do so and tell him it’s okay for him to do so. Then maybe one day when you two are older, if it’s meant to happen, you’ll come back to each other. It won’t be an easy thing but do what’s best for you!
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