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I've left my home country for a career move. With that, I also left my home and my family.
I'm tired, really tired, I can't explain it any other way. I want to cry but I just can't, all I can feel is this heaviness on my heart, and I don't know how to get rid of it.
Starting to lose hope, because everytime I feel better it doesn't last long, and I can identify the pattern now, which gives me less hope of feeling better.
I'm stuck between continuing my professional success, and going back home. Home is risky, unstable, and not safe. I would aslo be letting go of a promising career. I'm really scared I'm gonna regret this when my parents get older and pass away. I'm scared I'm gonna regret not spending time with my loved ones. I'm also in a long distance relationship, and I'm scared I'm missing out on the chance to raise a family, to live together, to just exist no matter the financial circumstances.
The longer I stay away from home, the harder it becomes to go back. I want to go back but I'm too scared to let what I've built here go to waste.
I'm tired.
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