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I was having a great streak mentally but I spoke more than needed with someone and I wronged her, I'm always scared with the path that life's gonna take sometimes, that's why when I'm in a room with someone I wait a little bit until I know I'm good to go on a good note. I'm that ridiculous but hey, that's how I'm feeling now. life keeps going and movement doesn't stop, and I've been wrong before but I keep getting in these positions of internal fear due to the fact that life is ever changing and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. dedicated my whole day today to staying on the right path with my relationships, family, etc. and I ended the day speaking more than needed... she wanted this, she was waiting for my moment of weakness to come to remember my mistakes for years to come. memory is a whore, I swear you can remember shit for eons and we like never learn from our mistakes. I was feeling great but I had to mispeak and open my big stupid mouth, it's okay I forgive myself but I'm tired of making my life purposeful and meaningful and always straying from the path, it's either I'm scared to wake up or ruin my day at the end. sometimes things take a toll on my soul and this is heavily due to my monstrous fears. I feel the need so badly to fix things and when you run out of time even for the day it is deeply frustrating. better luck next time I guess
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