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and i think maybe im unloveable, or maybe its just that i dont know how to love
but either way, love was never in my cards
the heartbreak was, but that was there regardless. i didnt need some flippant boyfriend to show me what it was when i had my parents there. between the way they never knew how to love each other or how to love me and my sisters, i learned heartbreak like the back of my hand at a young age. i learned it before i can even remember. it has always been this.
i am from the bottom of a bottle and hearts that will never tell. im from the suppressant and the suppressor. even if i had ever learned how to love, my love for that sweet sweet substance (I dont know what to do with my life if im not under the influence) wouldve taken it right away.
and so here we have it, all laid out. this combination of things that becomes the equation that equals out to my unloveable disposition.
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