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i dont like reading rants bc i have the attention span of like small. anyways i hate parents i hate any form of authority. im not a communist im just a teenage girl that constantly wants to be alone. i feel like i would have a blast alone. I could keep myself occupied for an entire lifetime. my parents want me to be a doctor. i want to die. tomato tomahto. i have no other choices honestly bc doctor yah its a lot to study a lot to put in work for AND YK WHAT my parents (my dad) wants to move to an all spanish speaking country and guess what!!!! I dont speak spanish. i used to tho i just stopped speaking it bc spanish is my dads side of the family and every second im with my dad i want to kill myself and blame on him so he can be arrested. but anyways in hs and ms i literally finished Spanish with like a 99. can i speak it? no. my body refuses to. i want to please my dad but my body is telling me to stop go on your own kill everyone. everytime i try my body gives me the ick and i cant do it i rlly cant. i can understand what ppl say its just when i talk back its all in english bc as i said, im traumatized. so how am i gonna become a doctor in that all spanish speaking country? ok. so. my personal plan is to somehow win the lottery because its simply to hard to look for scholarships rn and then i will go to med school and become a doctor, become rich then i will live in nyc bc i want to go to NYU which is like an hr away from me. then i wil work in a hospital preferebly in manhattan because its pretty and then i will get a pretty apartment by myself and have a pet dog. and maybe like when im ready and mentally healed (which is never), i will have a baby. who's the dad? men traumatize me. I will get one of those surgeries done where they insert it themselves (ill hookup with someone beautiful and leave the next morning). so yeah and I'll be happy that way bc i will comfortablely spoil my child and she will be happy. I'll support her or him lol sorry i forgot they came in two forms. I'll support them in anything they wanna do but i will make them do sports in like middle school. idk why i dont want them to be lonely. then that child will grow old with me i will meet their partner and then i will become a grandma preferably when my child is at least 25. I will see my child graduate and I'll finally be proud of something for once in my life. I'll be proud of something that I created and wasn't forced. I'll die by disease and I will want these rants to be on my will. Everything I own will go to my child and only to my child NOT their partner or to their kids. Of course, all this I hope to happen if I dont move to that spanish speaking country and stay here instead. Or of course if I'm not dead in the next hour.
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