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I am 20-year-old male have been struggling with some feeling that I don't know how to address. To give some back story I fell in love with a girl about 2 years ago. We dated for a little while and due to family matters I had to move out. and her and I decided to move in together. I thought it was a great idea at first, that was until I felt like it was too quick, but I brushed it off and decided to move on and see where it took me. Now we are almost 2 years in now and I can't help but think that I may have jumped into this too quickly. I only say this because I'm not happy with where I am at in life, I'm not happy with myself in not happy with life or anything and unfortunately my girlfriend doesn't exactly bring me peace, she loves me and gives me attention, but I feel as though my feelings are put second and my hobbies are a joke to her. I don't know what to do. I'm stick between a rock and a hard place here; I don't know if I should worry about my mental health or stick it out to see if it gets better. It also doesn't help that I've been super depressed lately and feel as though I have nobody to talk to (hint why I'm using this).
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I don't know if this will help or make it more confusing, but I guess I just had some things pop into my head while reading this that I feel like you should ask yourself.
You say you are not happy with where you are at in life. What does that mean? Is it that you don't have the career you want, you don't have financial stability, you're mental health could use some work? Does it really have to do with your girlfriend, or more with your situation? In my opinion, there will never be the perfect time to fall in love/be in love. So if your dislike with where you are at in your life has nothing to do with where you are at with your girlfriend, you shouldn't hold that against her.
You say your girlfriend doesn't bring you peace through all of that. Don't you think it might be a little too harsh to rest your peace on one person's shoulders? Certainly there is something to be said about being there for your partner, and not adding to chaos in their life. But at the end of the day, your problems won't disappear because you met your soulmate.
My last thought has to do with you feeling like she puts your feelings second and takes your hobbies for a joke. What has she done to make you feel this way, and have you expressed this to her in a clear and meaningful way? If not, please try to communicate. If you have communicated, and she still treats you like this, then I guess that's where you have to assess what you are willing to put up with for the rest of your life, if you want to stay with her, and what your living situation might look like after a break up.
You could be overthinking your life because you are struggling with depression. So if you feel like none of these questions really helped, you could look into options for treatments. Talk to your girlfriend about how you are feeling, and see what she thinks too. I hope this was helpful even though it was just some strangers thoughts. And if it was not, just pretend you didn't even see my comment.
ReplyIn my humble opinion you should always take care of your mental health. Communication is key in a committed relationship based on mutual love, trust and respect. Perhaps sit down with your girl and put these topics on the table to discuss about them, but be sure to tell her that she should also put her topics on the table to discuss, since people in a committed relationship are rarely going through something alone. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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