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The sun was supposed to be warm and I was supposed to feel the warmth on my shoulders. I was supposed to breathe in peacefully knowing I could breathe out. It was going to be my escape. Away from you, school, everything, but mostly myself. I can not stand myself. I wished I could depart from me and live as nothing, I wished to be dead. I did try it, I did want it, the peace of leaving all of my disappointing life, the peace of it not mattering that she hadn't given me a hug in years let alone tell me she loves me, the fact that I am just a immature little kid, the fact I'm tearing my family apart with my depression. I still wish I could die. "Crappy", "shitty", "frustrated" . No one asked me how I felt, it's all about them. I don't even know why I'm writing this
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What a shame to be like this. Look at the good in your life instead of the bad and try to be happy.
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