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I have a crush, we'll call him Michael. He's in my ROTC. I've tried talking to him but he doesn't seem very conservational or interested. He has a girlfriend (we'll call her McKenzie) which makes me mad, sad, jealous, and guilty at the same time. I keep seeing him in the halls and at lunch, and I feel like I should try to avoid him. I talked to him a couple of weeks ago, I had been gone 'cause I went to a psych ward; I had attempted suicide. I tend to overshare, so I told him that. He replied "Oh cool," which made me want to slap him. Anyway, I don't know how to feel about it. That night was homecoming and I looked so good. I had seen him out of the corner of my eye staring at me during the dance. The next week, I wore something a bit more revealing. When I walked into class I saw him point and stare at me. When we went to fall in, I saw his head follow me while I walked past him. We keep making eye contact with each other which is weird. People say I should move on ‘cause he has a girlfriend but I don't know. So Michael and McKenzie went to homecoming together and idk if he saw me. They broke up a few days before Halloween and Michael was single for about 2 weeks. During those 2 weeks, his friends had told me he was super flirty. I didn’t really believe that and his close friend who’s also friends with me, we’ll call him Cameron. So Cameron kept hinting about Michael liking me and I was like “Dude just spit it out” and he was like “You’ll see soon enough..” and I was like “wtf does that mean?!” and he was like “OK fine! He might say something about it soon” and I was like “Wait what?” and he was like “Uh, no. Shit-” I was like “Cameronnnnnn” and he was like “Ugh, what???”
Me: “Care to elaborate?”
Him: “Idk he just said he might say something about it to you soon.”
Me: “Say what about what to me soon?”
Him: “Idk I guess just the fact that he always thought you were cute and what not”
Me: “Wait WHAT? Are you messing with me right now????”
Him: “Oml no”
I was like so stoked and happy but I also didn’t believe it at the same time cause of my shitty self-esteem.
And eventually I got more stuff out of Cameron and he said “well there was one day he thought you looked really nice. When we went to fall out he came up to me and said “dude did you see (my name)?” Cameron: “yeah why” Michael: “She looks so nice today like look at her!!!” and I was rlly happy about that.
So, I got Michael’s number from a group chat and I decided to face my fears and text him hi after school ended that day.
I don’t really remember the timeframe but a few weeks ago I was running the mile for our cadet challenge and i was on lap 3 and i was doing really well, when all of a sudden I black out and i blacked out before i hit the ground. I wake up on the football field and i was told I had had a seizure. Eventually I told him I liked him over text and the conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey are you going to the military ball?
Him: Yeah
Me: Oh same who are you going with?
Him: My gf
Me: Called it. I thought you guys broke up?
Him: Nope
Me: Yeah you did you said "its just too much right now" so why lie?
Him: So why keep asking me questions abt something I clearly don't want to talk about with a girl I barely know?
Me: Cuz I like you you idiot. Why do you think I try to talk to you or be ur friend or text you every 5 seconds? How did you not notice? Even if you did why didn't you say anything? And if you were even a half decent person you wouldn't hang this over my head and blab to the whole school about it
Him: Never said I'd do that. I did notice and I didn't do nothing bc I don't like you like that not my problem
At that point I was just too pissed off and I sent one last text and blocked him. Then his Girlfriend texted me:
Her: stop texting my bf if you know he has a gf
Me: Girl you're not really helping this situation this is between me and him there's no need to get in the middle of this
Her: well u know he has a gf so stop talking to him and stay out of my relationship. thanks.
Me: Why do you even care? youre the one who has attachment issues. I also recall that ur the one that cheated on him
Her: ok girl and also its "you're" and just stop talking to him. He doesn't even know ur name, or you.
Me: Uhm, YES he DOES know my first AND last name so don't even.
Eventually I sent her a text basically saying truce and I'm pretty sure she blocked me at that point so I sent that same text to Michael's friend and ask him to send it to him and his gf. We're going to pretend like none of this ever happened. I fixed things with Michael but idk abt McKenzie. After my seizures I was excempt from physical activity so I sat out while my class was playing a game and Michael was yelling at me like "GET OVER HERE" and expecting me to get it and play and I'm like you asshole. Anyway I haven't really talked to him since and I'm on break rn and I'm scared to go back and see him and his gf again even tho McKenzie is like 4'7 no joke. I want to get over him but I still like his looks and he might not be a bad person overall. I just am pissed about the fact that he denied his feelings for me when he's told his friends that I was cute and he was clearly giving all of the signs that he does in fact like me.
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You have to realize that just because he said a girl is cute does not mean he wants to be like her. He has probably commented in a positive way about dozens of girls. Like he said he doesn't like you that way which means the way you want him to like you.
ReplyContinued: I meant to say: just because he said a girl is cute does not mean he wants to be with her.
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