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It's 3:58 am right now and I'm just sitting down here wondering what our future will look like.
I don't know who this letter is to.. my parents, my siblings, my friends, people whose names I've forgotten...
But I wonder what our future will be like. Will we see each other again? Will we be as close as we are now?
To my siblings, I wonder what that day will look like. When we're old and wrinkly, and hopefully we're still together. It still feels weird. Seeing you guys come and leave. Seeing us change.
It felt like everything would be forever. Afterall, we go to school for the first 18 years of our life. The same schools, the same districts, the same house, we experienced it all together.
But suddenly.. things are changing so quickly. You guys are in college, moving residents every year. Experiencing new things there while I'm experiencing new things here.
And I just pray that, even though we're walking different paths now, we'll converge at some point and be able to walk together again. Because you guys, my family, are all I live for.
I wonder if we'll still have our same friends. I wonder if we'd be married. I hope Mom and Dad are still with us.
I used to be so scared of death when I was young. I couldn't fathom it. How could one person be here one second and gone the next? How could a whole person's story just be lost with them? 6 year old me had a lot of stories to tell, and I couldn't imagine it all getting lost if I died.
These days, I don't cry at the thought of it. Yet when I think of us eventually dying, when I think of everything that would be lost if we died.. that makes me cry.
I don't want to forget these memories we hold in our heart. I don't want to forget a single memory of us laughing or crying or shouting or arguing.
I want to grow old with you guys. Wouldn't that be wonderful? To live a life where, at the end, you're old and wrinkly and surrounded by your old and wrinkly loved ones.
I hope we can reach that future.
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