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I hate suffering because of foolish bullshit. Mom forbids me from fighting with dad yet its ok for her to go ballistic on him, stress me out. Terrify the dog and me At the same time π’. I mean not like feelings matter huh? I'm stressed angry mad and sad as well as hurting in my head and nose bone from possible sinus infection cuz they smoke SO MANY cigarettes. I may as well smoke as much 2nd hand smoke as I breathe here. Haven't I suffered enough. F your drugs attitude and drunkenness dad. You all out me thru hell today. I hope you're all happy because I'm sure not. None of my family cares about me either. Nobody on social media gives a f. I'll be ok though. I have to believe love exists somewhere between God and the little dog we have. Well I know gifs love is real. People's varies in my life why idk. I wish you'd go crazy on dad elsewhere mom you don't know how it feels to be me. A little kindness goes a long way tellmy family that though. I'm not perfect but I don't make others unlike dad. I miss you both grandma's you were the only ones who really cared for me. That's ok I'll be ok. God's greater than any of us. We just get tested some days I know we do. It just gets old people here where I live being do unkind snobby salty rude doggish etc. And mom and dad are mentally ill. And I get their misery projected on to me days like today. I miss when I felt actually cared for by people I literally haven't in forever. Yeah according to dad I need a psychiatrist. He would too for real if he'd been through what we/I have. Its ok I know loving people still existπ I'm just down right now. I help others but people don't reciprocate. That really sucks πβΉοΈ ππβΉοΈ.
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