Feel less

I feel less than anyone in any way, shape and form. I'm just scared that everyone out there always do it better than me, but I'm scared for them... because I'm specifically talking about people who are the so called "entertainers" or people who actually contribute to society in some way or another, while I'm here taking as much as I can, baffled all the time, figuring out how to move on. I don't think I ever understood what people were going through... like, how don't they lose their minds? For example, content creators, how do they not lose their minds having uploaded so much content to their channels? It's like I would upload less than 20 seconds of content and I already feel like crap; I feel like it's always bothering me in the back of my head, I feel like if someone left a dislike I would feel like crap, I feel underappreciated (not to say that less than 20 seconds of content is enough content or anything, especially if I just uploaded it... which I did). Well I feel less than anyone else, I feel so useless and worthless... and it's not like I never give love, because I try to care in the back of my mind, and hopefully that's enough, but it's not. I don't think I ever realized it, what they were going through, like I said. And you know why? Because I am indeed less, and they can take it and afford that because they are better than me and have the mental fortitude to do so. I was always less. If you wanna know what happened, I created a channel on YouTube and uploaded two crappy videos. My plan is to upload stuff when I'm high, and make them weird, and also about my life, I have footage dating to 1995, when I was born. Well I know this could go a way, someone would read all this and leave a condescending comment, because let's face it, I'm honestly weird. Please let me be. I just want to let everyone out there actually fighting the battles know that I'm sorry, I have no right to feel sad. People who were actually contributing a part to society, and entertaining me. Those people are "soldiers" and heroes. But I never would have understood it unless I had to suffer it myself... the stress of fame and/or exposure.