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Has anyone who's had a trauma bond with a parent ever confronted said parent and told them it's the type of relationship they have/had?
Long story short like everyone - My parents are getting older and the parent I had this relationship with has gotten a lot better. Not perfect but better. They view their younger self in a negative light. I don't want to make them feel worse about themselves but a part of me would still like them to know about this so we can put it behind us. Perhaps it's better they never know?
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Honestly, both me and my brother have confronted our parents about how we were abused. Me and my dad got in a nasty fight and he ended up trying to break my neck. But after that it's like he respects me more. Idk it's weird. I think you should seek a counselor and ask them what you should do about your situation. However it ends up, it should remain a calm conversation. Don't let it escalate.
ReplyThis is helpful, thanks! I'm sorry you had to deal with that but I do think I understand what you mean about the respect part. I have a younger sister who didn't have our dad in her life since she was born at the time of my parents divorce and she doesn't understand the fear my mom and I went through with him, but I almost feel like if I were more like her and not so afraid, my dad would respect me more rather than try to control me. I will be sure to talk to a counselor first though and keep it calm. Thanks again.
ReplyFor me I've confronted my parent that has been physically and verbally abusive to me. Told them they need the same done to them what they did to me. Theyve never apologized so I still feel that is true though I'm not sure they cared nor liked what I said. But I still spoke my feelings. I don't think they could handle it emotionally as they're mentally unstable.
But I'm glad to hear in your situation that theyve gotten better with age and view their past negatively. Maybe they regret how they treated you but don't want to go there or would rather forget. I can't really tell you which way to go to tell them or not. But once they are gone you won't have that opportunity. At the same time it could also make your relationship rocky if you go back into it so its a tough choice I guess. Like the other person said a counselor might help. Take care :)
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