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I really want to be an engineer, but I am very dumb. I have autism. My brain is clearly not wired for this career, but it is my special interest. I failed college algebra, retook it for a C, nearly failed intro to chemistry (got a C again), and have avoided higher math classes for the time being. I have seen the professors themselves and tutors when struggling with these classes, but nothing seems to process and get through my head. Nothing seems to work and I am just too dumb to learn and grasp these concepts in the ways that everyone else does. I don't understand how other people are making A's, finding "simple" concepts easy, and completing community college in 2 years. I was born destined for failure unfortunately. I love building and putting things together and learning things about aspects of engineering that don't involve math, physics, and chemistry, but I need those things for this career and I put myself through it because it is my special interest. Meanwhile, I excel in the classes and extracurriculars that are completely out of my path, such as English, humanities, writing, and art. I am talented in the complete opposite of what I am trying to pursue, and while I am immensely grateful for that and wouldn't trade my skills in those areas for the world, it does demotivate me greatly in the degree I am attempting to pursue. Why even try in a subject I can hardly grasp when I could easily make a meaningful career elsewhere? It makes me so sad. I couldn't understand conversions in chemistry even after having an hour long tutoring session.
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Dude. Chemistry is HARD. I passed university chem 1 and 2, but just barely. I studied every night for hours and still only understood maybe 1/4th of what was going on. I went to every lecture and read every assignment. I still feel like it's lost on me. And math is super difficult too. So you're good at art and writing! That's great! So when you graduate with you engineering degree, you'll be well rounded! Maybe the world isn't set up for you like it is for neurotypical individuals. You're brain works differently. I know it feels like a weakness, but that can be your biggest strength. Keep trying. Atleast for a little while. Give it a good shot. Chemistry and math get easier with practice just like any other skill. It also couldn't hurt to talk to your advisor about your struggles and see if they have any accomadations for you. I think you can do it. But even if you decide not to keep going with an engineering major. Don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyAt least is not one word. Why are you writing it like that?
ReplyThank you for your comment. I actually completely forgot I wrote this, but I was happy to see that someone took the time to read it and respond so kindly. I am worried for the next semester, but I am pushing on and pursuing it further. I even now know of a university I am wanting to transfer to. Again, thank you so much for your kind words and positivity. I'm bookmarking this page so I can read it again sometime. :)
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