broken beyond repair

I'm broken , I'm always a girl who is dreaming, traditional, smiling, excited.

but here im crying in my bed, hiding in my blanket to not let world know me crying. because im afraid to let world see me cry anymore.

I'm broken beyond . the reason is i let people broke me. i kept on giving the importance to people in life that here im now broken with fckd up mind.

the guy whom i love with my heart is going out with girls around.

i think he found someone. i never said i love him.

i saw him caring about me a lot too. him just coming to see me when i was depressed.

just his presence is enough for me to boost up. but here im crying rivers for him because i saw him posting a picture with another girl.

I met him few months back at work, he is from north and im from south of india.

i still remember he was so cute , i tried to keep space n boundaries between him n me. but he kept coming closer and closer to my heart.

Him texting me asking how I'm.Him saying things to me that im looking beautiful. him having beautiful walks with me in lawn at offc. him climbing stairs with me.

we going out for a coffee.

him takng a flight just to see me because im depressed.

him calling me 4 times just to check on me to know if im ok or not.him keeping dps of me n him in his whatsap.

is he in love with me. he confuses me a lot. we had a small misunderstanding now i see him with another girl in his dp. heartbreaking will be an understatement.

why is love so painful.im tired of giving importance to guys and them breaking my heart.

idk when will god show mercy on me , is this how life will be , a painful nightmare everyday.

from being ragged in school, seeing domestic violence at home, not knowing what a fathers love is. not able to understand how to console mom. fighting my own health issues. going through depression ig this is how life will be.

yeah my tears wont stop sheeding.

i wont stop crying this is my routine.

they say right karma hits. what goes beyond comes beyond.