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I guess it can be said that I was a gifted kid growing up. I said my first words at 5 months, was speaking in complete sentences by age 2 years, and taught myself to read from age 2-4 years. Hearing what my family was saying about me when I was growing up, I thought I was super intelligent. I thought so until I had to apply myself, then my self-image began to suffer. If I had to apply myself, then how could I be intelligent? This caused a lot of problems when I was homeschooled. I didn't like studying because it made me feel dumb. I was more focused on performance than I was on learning. I felt like I had to prove that I was intelligent at any cost. Years later, I was telling my mom (who is now deceased) about this, she told me that it wasn't until after I reached adulthood that praising a kid for their intelligence rather than for working diligently is actually harmful. It instills a fixed mindset, which leads to stagnation. I am still trying to get out of that fixed mindset now that I am almost 30. I am also letting go of those old beliefs about myself that I was destined for greatness just because of who I am. I understand now that if I want to be successful, I need to work hard to get where I want to be. That's what tripped me up when I was younger: I saw people being successful, but I never saw the hard work that got them there. If it had been instilled into me that intelligence and hard work are not mutually exclusive, my life would have turned out quite differently. The takeaway: Intelligence is not the same thing as work ethic.
I was also thought to be "mature for my age." The reality is that I was much more inhibited than my peers. I knew how to behave and what to say to earn the approval of others, making it look like I was mature. But really, I was emotionally stunted and had no idea how to navigate life. Being well-behaved doesn't matter as much as it used to. I looked well-adjusted, but looks can be deceiving: I thought I had an image to maintain at any cost. I avoided situations that were new to me, because I thought people assumed that I was familiar with them and I didn't want to disappoint them by admitting "I don't know what to do here" or "I don't know how to do this." In short, I was not open to new experiences. I told my late mom about some of this, too. She was rather shocked when I told her that my "mature behavior" was a sham, that I did not have it all together, and in some ways had less common sense than some of my peers. I took the "mature for your age" compliment literally. I thought I was an adult in a teenage body. When I realized I wasn't, I felt disappointed in myself. She did explain that when she said that I was "mature" she meant that my behavior was developmentally appropriate for my age. She didn't say it in those terms, but that's what she meant. So... yeah. I have since realized that maturity is a process rather than a destination.
So, where do I go from here? I have since learned that intelligence alone won't get me anywhere; I have to develop a work ethic if I want to get shit done in my life. "Acting mature" has lost its sparkle now that it's expected of me and no longer a noteworthy part of my personality. I am no longer in possession of the labels "smart" and "mature." Next thing to do is go outside and live life; there's no image of myself to keep, and I've got nothing to prove anymore.
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My son who is almost 41 was saying words at three months and said his first full sentence at 6 months when he said, "Did you go out mum?" After that he stopped talking and started again later on. He learned to read at the age of 3 and when he started school he said that he was in school with a pack of babies because the other kids couldn't cross a road by themselves and were put down for afternoon sleeps after school. When he was 6 the deputy headmaster said he was capable of doing grade 7 work but they don't put kids like him up because they look like an oddity. At the age of 14 he had social phobia and left school in grade 9 and was in the house until he was 29 when he managed to get out. Then he got into uni and did psychology. My mother went from grade 3 to grade 6 and skipped grades 4 and 5 and she was mentally ill. My son has bipolar which may be what was wrong with her as well. Her brother (my uncle) also was very intelligent and at the age of 3 took a wind up clock totally apart and then put it back together again in perfect working order. As an adult he broke into an airport and without ever being shown he flew a plane and landed it. He built a house for his parents and did all of the electrical wiring and plumbing himself without being show how and it all passed inspection. He was in and out of a mental hospital with paranoid schizophrenia for most of his adult life.
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