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Lately I’ve been eating less and less, my mood swings are getting worse and I don’t know how to handle it. Being told I had BPD absolutely shattered my heart knowing I wouldn’t be able to get the proper help. I always cry when I’m alone, why was I made like this? Why would someone put me through hell and back, did I deserve it? All those years of psychical and emotional abuse and yet you blame me for not seeing you, you blame me for acting out on you and finally standing up for myself?how can I live through this pain and misery? I break down at the slightest inconvenience. I don’t deserve to be happy, I’m a terrible person and I don’t know why I act like this. Why can’t I be normal?? I just want to be normal like other people, I want to stop being so insecure.. sometimes I wonder why my boyfriends even with me.. I’m not pretty he could do so much better than me. I’m so scared of him leaving me because of how bad my mental health is.. he always rubs my scars on my legs looking at them sadly, it embarrasses me, him and other people seeing my scars, seeing how ugly they are all over my legs, I guess I’m writing all of this because I can’t tell anyone how I’m feeling, I hope someone sees this and feels less alone with what they are dealing with, I want to be able to give people the help I was never given <3
-Z
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It will do you good to talk to a therapist. You will get the help you need to get past this. Put vitamin E cream on your scars and see if it helps.
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