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Don't you ever wish things were more equal? Please if your answer is no, then don't say anything. Like I understand there's one thing that equals us all, and that's death. I have so many wishes and yet I'm unremmitingly reminded that this is it... this is how it is. I'm in my body, but there will be always something or someone to compensate for it... for my pain. Maybe I'm just at a loss for words, or even thoughts, I don't know. This reality is insane, but let's face it, it's probably an event of cataclysmic proportions that maybe happened very gradually, the fact that we exist. But you know what? Everybody tells you the only way to win an argument is to silence yourself, but I think nothingness is a misconception, I really do; unless you are gonna tell me that reality is that which happens all over the place. Let's take it down to the reason I made this post... it feels like we are not equal, but then again what would the universe look like if we were all equal? It would be like an endless ocean filled with water? Like I picture the worst in my mind... things like people like Hitler are so evil someone one time in existence is going to come and create a torture chamber for someone, they literally would find ways to keep him alive and torture him, for no reason! It doesn't make sense to me, or that wouldn't make sense. Could humanity be so evil as to be evil for no reason at all? I'm in disbelief; I mean, as long as it happens for a reason, that's good, right? (I'm talking about the cases where we need to eat food to survive, or similar cases... not about torture, don't get me wrong). But I'm now in my body and it's very convenient that I'm going to die, 'cause cause and effect... life means death. If I could, I would want to live as much as I want, and be able to like push a button and stop living, and the same for start living again, and so on; maybe being able to have pleasure whenever I want, to visit whatever place I want, etc. But maybe I don't deserve it, because I am not God. I have so ingrained in my head that my life isn't fair, that other people are living it... and I know that's not really true, that it is what it is; we all get what we deserve. But honestly I don't know if I would rather live in an endless ocean filled with water, but it really feels like I need more or better... like I wish a genie would come and grant me the one wish that's in my head, I often fantasize about that; but isn't that one wish the genie would grant me gonna make it out to be exactly how it is now? It feels like torture, pain or bad things shouldn't exist at all though, but they do... unless you are willing to tell me the language of the universe doesn't care about these things because eventually it's going to wipe the slate clean. It's all too much and I don't understand the universe's strange whereabouts.
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I think you don't know about the earth's balance. There is no north without south, no east without west, no high without low, no hot without cold and no warmth without cool. No love without hate, no well fed without hunger, no good without bad, no law abiders without criminals, no peace without wars, no tall without short and no long without short, no fire without ice, no dwarfs without giants, no dry without wet, no water without land, no pain without painless, no sickness without good health, no heaven without hell, no God without devil, etc. etc. This is how the earth works.
ReplyI'm listening to Alan Watts audio archives and I think that's what inspired me to do this post. He's pretty much a dualist, and I'm kinda one myself too. Thank you!
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