I want romance

I wish I could have a companion in my life who wants to go on dates and be with me. I recently got out of a situation that was never going to go anywhere and in some ways feel kind of stupid because it’s clear to me in the rearview that he was always a little lukewarm about me. I don’t want that. And it’s not that I don’t love myself either. I do, very much, and if I really wanted just companionship, I would be four times married and four times divorced by now. I’d be with that guy who didn’t really act like he wanted me. I am actively trying to select people who would be good to me and who fit in my life and make great friends. I am successful in everything I do, I have so many friends, I do as much as I can for my community, engage in lots of different activities, I take pride in myself, but I am still lonely for a lack of romantic companionship. I know what I’m like when I really like someone and I wish things would just align right where me and the other person fit together and I don’t feel like I’m overstepping because I’m so into them, because they’d be so into me too. I know I’m good looking, because I’m approached a lot, and I don’t mind asking people on dates either. Nothing seems to fit, though. I guess it’s helpful to think that it only needs to work out once, but I am also consciously aware that I could also just end up alone forever. And it’s better than being with the wrong person, but Jesus Christ. I want to wake up in 20 years, deep into a relationship where I won’t question that they love me back. I know that I’m kind and loyal and smart and romantic, and I think I could make someone very happy, and I think someone else could make me happy too. I just wish we’d find each other already. I’m frustrated because I feel like I just keep hitting dead ends. I know I’m practically asking for a miracle to find a best friend and a lover in one person. But I’ve seen it be done, and I want that too.