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Loved a guy for 4yrs and I didnt think it be this traumatic. Cried over him, but then again reading about our good moments in my old diary made me feel good when I was having a shitty day. Recently I think my obsession of him took over. I made an account on social media, his 'backup' account because I was jealous of the amount of girls he followed. I just wanted to know the relationship between them and him, am I really that crazy? And itd been about a month since I realised he wasn't close with any of them, and I SHOULDVE DELETED THAT ACCOUNT. but no instead I left it. His friends found out, and I got attacked at first, then my crush actually MESSAGED ME HIMSELF?? We had an okay convo, felt good after all those yrs. I didnt tell him my name but gave VERY obvious clues so I'm sure he knew who I was. But I also blabbered on too much. Whatever. Main problem, he said "HI (my name)" just before it let me block him, and then I was smiling at my screen bc for some reason it felt good knowing that he knew it was me. But then again he was a slight red flag, wym those girls are JUST friends? Mentioning gf's to 'protect u'? Tf? Anyways. His friend then asked what happened and kept mentioning "yk all he wanted to know was ur name" and its like HE KNEW its me so why do I have to keep mentioning it? And then he proceeded to mention me and my crush when we were older (he said we'd get married n all that) and so I was left imagining it all and u know how that went. Got my hopes up too high. His bipolar attitude i can't stand it, I should've blocked him sooner before he insulted me, throwed 'rape' jokes at me, and then ended it with a "ur such a weird n-word, (crush's name) said he hopes u get raped by (someone else's name)" and before all that he told me it was normal to like someone for 4 yrs. What the actual fuck. Please someone help I hate how I feel like this, I dont know whats gonna happen next, I regret everything I did, what the hell is wrong w me? I feel like when I go back to skl its gonna get worse. Also apparently u can get a criminal record from stalking online??? Since when..
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Sounds like quite the predicament. Never been in this type of situation in particular, but I've made my fair share of mistakes. At the end of the day, the consequences of our mistakes blind us from who we are. We are not just the sum of every high and every low, we are much more than that. Whatever may come, whomever you may come across, at the end of this trial there will be greatness. It's a hard road, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that you can make it through it. After all, you had the courage to share this experience. I pray all the best for you in the coming days. Merry Christmas!
ReplyThank you!! Made me feel way better since I was panicking earlier. Merry Christmas to you too, have a good week! <3
ReplyGirl I’m so sorry, clearly you deserve someone better, because he kinda sounds like a fat red flag. A lot of them. I also had a slight obsession for four years in high school, except I was too scared to talk to him, he was also dating throughout high school so yeah. But once you gain a realistic view of him that usually helps to see things as they are, rather than what our minds make believe in romantic hysterics or yk. It’ll wear off, and you will be able to move on. Get on with life, you’ll be fine. Xx
ReplyOMG THANK UUUU never felt so lost and uneasy in my life tbf, but thank u!! have a good week <3
ReplyI can see that this situation is very familiar to me. I had a crush on a guy in my school for 3-4 years and I became obsessed with him, which was wrong. He didn't even know my name. I noticed that he and his friends would stare at me a lot and I didn't know why. After a while, I developed a crush on him too. I went through what you did and I feel like he tried to make me jealous of other girls. He followed a lot of girls too, which I hated so much, even though I barely knew him.
One day, my friends approached him about me and he lied, saying that he wasn't looking at me and instead was looking for snakes. It was a stupid excuse, especially since we were at school. This made me cry and feel upset. I found his Instagram and sent him a message about that incident, but I was angry at his response. He acted like it never happened and talked about random things, showing no interest. He then whispered to his friends about me around me, which made me feel even worse.
I regret everything I did and still feel tension when I see him at school. But, I moved on and it was for the better. I am proud of you for sharing this experience. It is not the end of the road and it does get better. It is a hard journey to get past, but just know that you will achieve greatness. We all make mistakes and most people experience this too. You are strong and what he said was wrong. You deserve better than that. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers. You got this girl!
Replyomg thank you!! <3
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