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I just hanged with my friends ok
Because it was my friend's birthday
And the whole time I act happy
Yet I reflect and I feel nothing
I make them laugh and make them proud
I dance around the measling crowd
I really hope to make an impact
So everyone remembers this man
Yet a friend comes and I ignore
Wait until the sunset shore
I then warm up as the old me
But why was I upset to see thee
I honestly don’t think I was, yet I felt a change
Because I felt I was more mean and carless with things
Or maybe my demons are just now rising
Because my fear was lowering.
I hate the way I feel when I am Alone
After a great day with my homes
I just always feel like I am terrible
Yet I act as if I am not miserable
Maybe I am overthinking
Or maybe I am just putting things
Back together as they shall be
Because I know how I treat thee
I wish to say I am sorry to those I wronged
Yet as I check the list it is empty as a poem
Because poems like this have a true meaning
Yet Often it is just someone venting.
I think what I struggle with the most
Is how I feel empty and at my lowest
When I am alone from those I care for
Because I think they are broken in my lore
In my life I am nothing
In my eyes I am nothing
I hope to others I am something
But maybe I am just nothing.
I feel like a piece of cloth torn from a shirt
So apart of something big, yet distant
Enough to be noticeable and enough to be trash
Because at the end of life, my impact will dash
I am sorry to those I wronged
I am sorry I try and be funny
I am sorry I am like a broken song
I am sorry I am slicker than a bunny.
I don’t know if I am happy or sad
But I think I rather be sad
I hate that but it is true
Because this society promotes that idea
But then when I am sad
I tell myself I am bad
And am lying to myself
And am no sadder than a shelf
But I do it to be cool
Because others won’t think I am dull.
See what I mean about poems
The initial reason for writing them gets covered
Over the impact of venting
While the truth of the poem is smothered.
I wish I was happy after I leave my friends
I wish I was happy after filming.
I wish I was happy when I act like it.
I wish I didn’t think everyone hated me
I wish I thought I was worth something
I wish my friends would promote me
I wish they would tell me they care for me
I wish they would help me see what I am
I wish God would send someone for this
A girl that I could just be with
To vent and cry about my problems
To list out my brain's sad columns
I know god has a plan for me
And I wonder every day if I am faking
I wish I could be living my dream right now
Yet god’s timing waiting to plow
Me into this crooked industry
So I won’t lose the real me.
I am sorry for those I wronged.
I was wronged.
Forgive me
I am sorry.
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