I never needed an excuse to change more than this New Year's

People are screaming outside and I would kindly but not really put a tranquilizer in their bodies. I already started writing down my new year's resolutions... and honestly, I told myself I would do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, like always... but I needed it, I needed a new reason to change. And I'm already feeling like a fake, like real people don't celebrate days, they change voluntarily. New Year's huh? What really is it? It is what it takes for the Earth to go around the Sun. Well that's great. It's okay if people want to celebrate. I never really made myself some new year's resolutions, and I feel like life is bad enough that I need a reason to change for the better, but I'm already feeling like it's not worth it. I'm going to see how far it goes... but no promises, maybe I could try and follow some of my new year's resolutions like having less triggers to a lesser extent but not taking it so seriously. We'll see... everything I do needs to be taken with a grain of salt by myself and others. Happy New Year's if you celebrate.