Did this really happen

I don’t even know where to begin. I think my mind tries to shut off and block out that part of my childhood. Sexual trauma with a sibling. When this memory pops into my head it haunts me with confusion, disgust, disbelief, a multitude of questions. I’m so scared to express as if I bring it out of my mind it confirms its truth. At the time I was young, yet I had a thought of this can’t be right, I didn’t know any better. Why did it happen how could they let it happen as if it’s normal. I hate that is memory exists in my brain. And now too this day I have a good relationship with this person, yet I can’t help but feel this guilt and uneasiness as if we both know the deep dark secret.

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