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Let me tell you guys a little of my story hopefully someone out there can relate or even care or just see me or hear me. I was born in the big city New York and moved to another state (cant name which one it defeats the purpose of anonymous) but lets call this little place "hell" this was at the age of 8. I have seen things as a child I shouldn't have and done things I shouldn't have either. Anyways it was my mom, newly stepdad, and oldest sibling but as we lived in hell more siblings came, two more to be exact. We have lived in hell for the rest of my childhood life and still am here. Along the way of living here we moved around in hell quite a bit. Been through some shit. A lot of evictions after 8 years of living in my childhood home. My mom was into the alcohol and drugs along with my stepdad who enabled it. We didn't really have a great mother- daughter relationship. I was a rebellious pre teen. My step dad hated me and my oldest sibling, hitting us and treated us like shit. But also my mom too. He beat and cheated on her all the time. My home life sucked ass, but my childhood out side of my home was great not the best but made the greatest memories. I don't really have a big family on my mother side and never really knew my father side or grew up with anyone from his side. My dad was a shitty one and still is. I only was around his family until the time I moved out of state. He would try to see us every once in a blue but not enough until we were teens. Anyways met many people, friends along the way some great and some not so great. I remained friends with some and the ones that were best friends most of them I don't even talk to. Some of these people that I have met will turn out to be a really big part and huge piece of my story. But these things that have happened to me in my life have given me all the things I deal and struggle with now. Anxiety, stress, trust issues, abandonment issues, grief, anger, depression. I think I will do this in parts because I really have to tell each part. If anyone can relate so far please comment, just so I know someone is listening.
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I'm listening, and I want to give you faith that life gets better. Firstly, I'm sorry that you've had a traumatic childhood. I can empathise with you. I've had a very challenging adolescence and it's made me very independent, but also very isolated.
God gives his strongest warriors the most difficult challenges because he knows they can handle them. Please don't allow the trauma to be the pinnacle of your life, make it the furnace of your present and future life development.
Trust yourself. Understand yourself. What are your passions? What are your interests? What is your character like?
I've been living alone for the past 9 months, after living with my narcissistic mother for 15 years.
I've unlearned a lot of behaviours that she's projected onto me and there are still more to be derooted.
Life gets better! Believe in yourself, believe in your passions and focus all of your energy into putting in action instead of being emotionally drained by your feelings and thoughts.
Build the life you want for yourself and become the person you want to be! You can achieve everything you put your effort and time into!
I wish you a happy, abundant and prosperous life!