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I have found and made a relationship and I have had a boyfriend for over a year now. My parents would never accept him so I keep it on the low.
I am 20 years old. My parents are forcing us to move to Florida. My dad wanted to move to Florida. Now he’s in there preparing to buy a house and my parents have a low-key grand scheme of forcing us all to move.
My boyfriend has trauma with Florida because he had an online girlfriend of manipulated him and was toxic for 8 years and she is from Florida. Every-time I talk about it it’s a heavy subject. Mt biggest fear is breaking up. I don’t want to see him less physically either.
I’m willing to do some sort of job that requires travel between the state I live, NY and Florida. I’m trying to think of every path possible so that I don’t have to give up this relationship and that I don’t let specifically my father be alone.
My father has spent 20 years waiting tables to make me the person I am today. Never had food issues and clothing issues. Yes, the environment had physical and emotional abuse but it’s from my mom. I also have medical issues like asthma, so for them to take care of me when it was so severe is like a chance to live. I cannot deny that they sacrificed a lot to keep me here and alive to where I am today.
I want to stay in NY. But leaving my father alone in Florida feels like betrayal.
I has a classmate tell me the story of they were glad that they didn’t open the door to their basement of their father’s house whose deceased body was laying there for 4 weeks. They somehow had known he had passed away but chose to not open it and soared themselves the trauma.
For that to happen to my father when I have the chance to not let it happen is unfair and emotionally painful. I do a great disservice to him if I leave him to struggle during his olden ages. It’s just selfish if let it happen. I also hold some sympathy for older people aka the elderly. Being alone is painful and I wouldn’t want to be feeling like that either at any age at all.
I’m so lost on what potential solutions are. I am not emotionally capable of giving up one for the other.
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Helping your boyfriend work through the trauma of the ex is my first idea, advocating for therapy if needed. Even if you guys weren't planning on moving to Florida, it would still be a good thing to do to help him work through that :)
ReplyHi and thank you for your response!
It’s complicated there the mental health system has not been really kind to him. He suffers from mental health conditions but they’ve constantly misdiagnosed him and his therapy does not help. He is extremely dependent on me for his happiness and when he is in crisis mode. He calls me the love of his life and wife and all that. It’s so hard to even open up that “hey this worst case scenario” let’s talk about it.
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