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What do you want to be when you grow up..? To be honest I’m not really sure. I believe when I was growing up I never thoroughly thought about it, I just thought of what I liked at the moment like hobbies or interests. But even then even if I spoke passionately of these ideas without a second thought there’s a voice that’s telling me to just become a nurse. But why a nurse you may ask. Most of my family takes part in the medical field being some kind of nurse, and it’s what they would want. It’s good pay, they say… So now thinking about it and the feeling back then I never took that question seriously. And in result I fell into the blueprint that was laid out by my Stepdad and Mom, even if they overall said “we’d support you regardless of what you do” I knew deep down inside they actually wouldn’t it was rather meaningless.
I remember when I was very determined to become a business major and it was the one thing I was determined about. I was taking classes back in High School to benefit this pathway and even tried to be part of a club. But with the club running out of school hours without any of my parents' vision, they did not allow it. So some part of it died inside me… Then following further into the year Covid hit and I felt lazy and un-passionate. I was barricaded inside a house with nothing but the same four walls. That’s when I gave in, to become a nurse.
I finally escaped that household, but am still pursuing the medical field. With these last few classes as my prerequisites they make me feel as if I’m not enough to be a nurse. It’s not that I’m not trying, but I am filled with burnout. And here I am questioning myself, What do I want to be when I grow up? Will I be able to still keep up with these classes, it’s the stress of failing that makes me question myself. I already failed Anatomy and Human Physiology once, what happens if I don’t make it due to my mistakes. Just going to those workshops for the actual program already makes me feel like I’m failing to become a nurse.
It’s not easy, but I never expected it to be. I just expected myself to do better, because I felt like I could do it. But clearly I was wrong, so what happens when I screw up? What happens when I can’t do it anymore? What is the alternative? I guess I have a few ideas but nothing would’ve beat becoming a nurse. A nurse for the pay, not for the purpose of actually helping people. I think that’s the idea my mom and stepdad had, they weren’t thinking of the people I would help, but that paycheck I would receive so that once they’re old I’d be paying them instead. That’s just dir
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I'm a little older and find it funny how these things pan out for people. For many, I find, they are "in a spot" they had not fully intended. I'm in that boat as well.
When I was very young, I knew I wanted to be a veterinarian. We lived in the country and had many pets so I had a very strong fondness for animals. Somewhere around the early days of high school, we started so dissection projects and I realized, very quickly, this was not going to pan out for me.
I had also been an avid gamer and decided that I quite might like to make video games for a living. After high school, I slipped right into college for programming. The internet was alive and well in these days but e-commerce wasn't really a thing and the space was filled, mostly, with personal pages of folks geeky enough to make such a thing. We understand that, these days, the internet allows us to pull back the curtains, if you will, to see what happens behind the scenes for various industries. I wasn't so fortunate at the time so "making video games" was only what I envisioned it to be, not what it really was at the time. When I finally learned the true process, I decided once again I might like to do something else for a living. I had a fear that I would be programming a game I had no interest in, like a "kiddie" game, for four years of my life before having the chance to work on something more interesting and realized, as well, that I would likely not have any creative freedoms.
I stuck with the technology path, though, got a degree, and went to work in an industry where I slowly, over time, worked my way up the ladder. The good news here, is that I actually loved what I did so going to work wasn't a big deal. For over fifteen years, I excelled and loved it all. Unfortunately, I live in an employment at will state meaning you can be let go for, essentially, no reason at all. I had worked my way up to management but the person above me was a lady whom had seemingly come into my life for the sole purpose of making me miserable. In all my years, I had never dealt with such. And one day, for no reason at all, she let me go citing we have different management styles and that was the one thing I suppose we were able to agree on.
A vendor of ours reached out when they heard I was no longer around and asked what I was up to. Long story short, they created a position for me and pulled me into their world. I've done that for many years now. It's a slightly different path than the one I had set out to do, the one had been doing for so many years, but I still love it and, realistically, it's actually better in some ways.
Having been through all of this, and having heard so many stories from folks like me over the years, I can safely assume it would be difficult for you to guess where you might be five years from now, ten years from now, etc. What's important is to enjoy the ride! I know many who chose a path chasing money but regretted it. Try getting involved in a company, position, or area that you are actually interested in. You will clock many, many hours at the workplace in your life time so probably best to pick a role you actually have some interest in. I think, in due time, the money will come.
It may seem unorthodox now, and some may not like your decision, but I think you'll look back on your life farther down the road and be thankful you made the decision to follow "the fun stuff".
No matter what happens, we'll all be wishing you the best!
Good Luck!
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