What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
There's this guy at my job who stares at me all the time, but never says anything. He likes me. It's plain as day. I'm getting the feeling he wants me to talk to him, but I'm shy and socially anxious... I don't really talk to people unless they talk to me first.
I guess we'll never see where this leads because I'm not interested in chasing men. The last time I did "chase" a man... it ended up with me getting used, my heart broken, lied to in so many ways, feeling like I didn't deserve love or respect, and ready to end my life.
Matter of fact why is it the scumbags are the only ones that have the ability to approach a woman and chat, but the men who might actually be good don't ever talk to women?
Is it so that they can blame women for choosing the only men who make themselves available to women? Is it so that they can keep up the Bad Boys vs Nice Guys fake dichotomy that allows incels to feel like they're right?
Maybe I'm assuming too many bad things of this guy... I just wish he'd talk to me at least once... before I move on entirely.
Or maybe I should become a pickmeisha... approach him, get abused and mocked for being "desperate", and then masculinized further as if suffering PCOS wasn't enough.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
My Timed Entry
I feel like no one takes me seriously. I have come to realise that I am not really important in anyone's world. the other day my friend told me I was pretty ign...
-
Feeling down
Right now feeling like Iām alone in it all. So today i went to an appt for one thing and found out I had really high blood pressure high enough for them to se...
Omg, it's like I could have written this myself. YES!! You get it!!
ReplyGo talk with him.Try engaging him with casual talks so that you can get to know him better .If you feel like he's your type , take things further.By limiting yourself , you'll miss out a lot. As an intovert myself , I know its hard but i don't want you to regret moment in life by limiting yourself .Go girl <3 We're here to support you .
ReplySo I must turn into the pickmeisha and pursue a guy... because we all know men respect women who approach them. š
ReplyIf you dont wanna talk to that guy , dont talk .If you are so persistent on not going up to him , its completely your choice ^-^
ReplyThank you for actually being respectful in your responses, but I think I'm just going to focus on my job.
Perhaps this guy will find a woman that doesn't mind doing everything while he sits back and does nothing.
ReplyYou know i have friends who cannot really go up and confess to a woman they like and its not because of what you wrote. its because some men are very well aware of the things we go through. So they are naturally aware that anything they would do will only lead us to think what we have experienced before. They are literally afraid of being considered as the bad guy, they are afraid of being called a creep. So yeah sometimes they do need you to make the first move so they know its okay for them to take a step ahead too.
but at the same time be very sure that the person is actually and genuinely a nice guy and just a facade. you know how the most innocent faces are the evilest. so be sure of that first and then only approach.
all the best if he turns out to be a nice guy. <3
ReplySo what you're saying is that because he won't deal with his issues as a man, I need to swoop in, boost his confidence, and be the man that he won't be?
If I have to play his role and mine, where does that leave him?
That leaves him to be nothing more than a child that I have to help. And no offense I'm not attracted to children.
I'm sorry, but I'm giving up on this guy and I'm ignoring him. Anytime he stares at me I'm going to be 100% focused on work as I usually am.
I could easily lose my job and ultimately be out on the streets based on rate alone, so I am not going to gamble it all away hoping for the best.
All my life I had to fend for myself and protect myself... because you know what?
Men and boys were too busy treating me like garbage. Back then women and girls didn't know what the hell solidarity was or what being a pick me was. They were putting up everyone else above me and I was the object ridicule.
You think he has it so goddamn hard because he can't talk to girls?
He should try being beaten up by your father because father wouldn't dare verbally and physically harm his two daughters who were beautiful by default. He should try having to go to school with bruises. He should try having people at school ask if you're a boy or a girl everyday and constantly be everyone's low hanging fruit.
I went to therapy for everything. 2022 was when I officially stopped having PTSD nightmares. 2022 was when I officially started doing everything I could to at least be pretty and feminine... to take back what was robbed from me.
But go off, poor man can't talk to girls. It must be my sacred pick me/manic pixie dream girl duty to help him get his life in order.
Look I'm not against helping people, but this is ridiculous. He's like the other men I flirted with who were magically too broken and needed an emotional support woman to fix them. This is emotional exploitation, full stop.
My energy has a cap and shouldn't I save most of it for myself? And then spare the rest to a guy who actually wants it?
I don't have a lot of time left to play therapist and nurse made to guys... I have to take care of myself. As I've said before I've had to take care of myself from the get-go because I had no good adults in my life.
Replyrespectfully, i am sorry you had to go through all of that. but whatever i wrote did not at once suggest that he needs help, or therapy or that he is a child. i said that he probably doesn't want to take a first step because he doesn't want you to think of him as a creep and he wants you to be more comfortable talking to him... human psychology definitely suggests the person who makes the first move is always more confident..... but That is exactly why you are not making the first move, right? because you are afraid of being called out for something you had no intention of. Guess that's why they say women make everything more complicated.
ReplyI'm sorry, but don't you think it's a little presumptuous to think that every woman's going to call a man a creep? Especially after she's given cues that she's approachable?
Autistic men have more social awareness than this guy...
Replyof course flag and abuse.
ReplyWhy I flagged it as abuse?
Because you were very abusive to me and made assumptions about me.
Here's your freaking update:
Not only did I give him another chance and try to talk to him, he would not talk to me unless it was through his friend.
I'm done with men 100%... and if by chance a guy who likes me and who isn't scared of holding his half comes along, it'll be too late.
Too many times I have given men chances, given them my contacts, and tried to talk to them... only to be treated like an afterthought.
I do NOT give a f*** about men in their stupid self-imposed loneliness epidemic. They know how to fix their problems, but they won't because it requires them to (1) develop ACTUAL social skills and (2) stop treating women like AI servants.
Replyflag away, i couldn't care less. but just another observation "you are just looking for attention, and you clearly want people to agree with you. I mean i never abused or point fingers at you. i simply stated that maybe he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. Now you you took it as a disagreement in a way that even after weeks you feel the need to get agreement out of an anonymous person."
Serious suggestion, start getting used to disagreements and the fact that not everyone will do as you expect them to do. You will keep exhausting yourself and no one would want to care.
XOXO
PS. i have not at all used abusive language (mentioning just in case you thought i did)
ReplyThis wasn't mere disagreement... you came out maliciously swinging at someone who was stressed AND hurting... and as far as I'm concerned, your advice has NOTHING to offer me.
Please find someone else who actually wants to be a doormat.
ReplyThis wasn't mere disagreement... you came out maliciously swinging at someone who was stressed AND hurting... and as far as I'm concerned, your advice has NOTHING to offer me.
Please find someone else who actually wants to be a doormat.
ReplyMaybe he got hurt too and is scared to get rejected and then it be awkward. Instead of chasing him, just break the ice, and when you walk by him first thing in the morning say "GoodMorning." This might immediately give him the chance to talk or continue saying good morning and let him build up courage. What it can mean is that he thinks you're one hell of a woman and he's scared which isn't bad because he thinks about how you'll respond which means he is a thinker. give him a chance, just because the last guy hurt you doesn't mean they all will. don't rush it either b because that will tell you his intentions and priorities. Make sure that its Clea sex isn't on the table till marriage that will also help show where he's at. Besides sex is a very personal thing that should be kept for marriage because its so special. Btw I'm a guy and I think you should simply take it slow, give him a chance, say hello and build a friendship and give it time.
ReplyI'm sorry but I've given up on him. I even erased the drawing that I made for him. I am 100% done.
I may still like him and I may still have fantasies about him, but I will not live my life waiting on him OR any man for that matter. Waiting on men is how a woman's time gets wasted.
Besides which, I have a lot of plans and a lot of things to do. I've never get anything done in life if I had to sit around waiting for a guy to get his shit together.
Maybe I should just get an AI boyfriend except unlike guys I can socialize outside of AI with real people. I made the effort and spent the money to go to therapy and deal with my social anxiety and other issues.
ReplyOne more thing Simplehuman...
I don't understand why you're so obsessed with convincing me it's my job to act in ways unnatural and inauthentic to myself in order to teach a man child to be a grown man.
That's insane. I want to be his life partner, not his mommy bang maid. I don't want to be in a relationship with a grown as man who acts like a toddler.
I've let him go and I won't give him any more chances and greenlights. Men need to learn that women are not going to wait for them forever.
Besides which, I'm saving money and going to a sperm bank so I don't have to waste my time with shitty cowardly men. I'm NOT wasting anymore of my time, youth, and fertility on these cowardly eunuch manchildren.
I wanted to be a mother and have a family, I can do that without a failure of a man wasting my resources and patience.
If you, Simplehuman, care about these ball-less men so much, then you be the man they're looking for and you court them.
Reply