I hope...

I sit here listening to old music that shouldn't even bring up any memories of you because I heard them way before knowing you. I sit here staring the my kids that you aren't the father too but deep down I sometimes wish you were. I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but sometimes i wonder where would I be if you have spoken up on that day we parted way and said goodbye. You confessed to be couple years ago that you whispered "stay.", but why did you say it to my ear. Instead you wispered it to my hair because you are taller or because you didnt mean it?

What would be of us if i did stay? What would be of my kids or family if i did stay? Would you still be here with me? Would you have taken care of me?

We weren't in a relationship, strictly work, but why did it feel like a break up?

Do you think of me as much as i do? When going to safeway and getting sushi and diet coke? When eating anything spicy? How about hot cheetos?

but still...

I hope you are happy. I hope you have found someone that makes you smile, makes you laugh like all those times. I hope you found someone to take to baseball and have drinks with. To watch movies on our purple couch that i never got to sit in. To learn sign language to communicate with your nieces and nephew. I hope you find someone that knows what your worth.

We only worked for 2 Months, but those months changed me in ways i never thought.

I really hope you are happy.