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We are all sinners. As humans, it is only naturally so.
Sometimes we forget that, especially when we see someone else sinning differently than we do. There is a feeling of superiority here, that we are better than that sinner over there, when we are sinners too and have just carried out a sin a second ago and a sin that is maybe even more damaging.
Being raised in an authoritative family, this was my default setting. I see things in black and white. I take it too far when enforcing discipline. AT the same time, because of the ropes that had been tying me back all my life, I became like a hurricane trying to swallow everything in its way. I wanted to do everything because in my mind, the ropes are coming to tie me back up again. I have to do whatever I can before I get locked up again. The scarcity mindset.
I realised this relatively recently when I was thinking hard why I keep feeling like I had to empty the dish in front of me everytime. In my mind, I was scared that I will never get to eat again. Or never get to consume or feel joy again.
Now that I have identified this, I am working with myself to unlearn that setting. Identifying it has taken half of my life. I don't think this will be a short ride.
Don't lecture me for mistakes I have made as a result of trying to survive. If I wanted it, I would ask for it. Do not project your upset on me. Turn it to the person who upset you.
I have already delved in deep thoughts and internal conflict long before you "knew" me. The guilt trip is not helping. This is not even about you. This is not even about what you were so consumed about. Geez.
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