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i feel like i wasted my life like i fucked it up irredeemably but it's not like i committed a crime or got addicted to something but even people who do things like that can have friends and other kinds of relationships but not me. i will never have a friend again cuz im worthless and i suck!!!!!!
but if i die i'll probably have to live another life as a severely disabled person with abusive parents or a third-worlder who has to work their entire childhood not to die of starvation or a tortoise or a mennonite :-(
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It's really unfortunate that next lives don't exist. People who feel like they didn't have a fair life would beg to be reborn into a second life where they will be blessed with a better life. However, that won't happen. You won't get a second chance in another life, but you might get a second chance in your current life. No matter what you think now, you can't foresee your future. You might actually get a better shot in this life and everything changes in a matter of months, days, hours, minutes, or seconds. Life can be pretty interesting and full of surprises, you know. Also, it's not too late to have an inner glow up. It's never late to evolve and become the better version of yourself, dear stranger.
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