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Words hurt more than action. This line is so true. I used to think that parents are the ones who support you in all phases of your life. My parents support me but at the same time my dad say some degrading words that demotivates me. I used to take them as a joke but I think it is becoming pretty serious now. On the other side my mom is supportive. She supports me but reveal things to my dad which I don't want him to know. I feel like she betrays me by telling them to my dad. I don't want to talk bad about him. He supports me but sometime his words hurt. I try to take them in positive manner but cant help but overthink about them. Maybe I am the wrong one here. Maybe he is trying to motivate me. What should I do? Should I confront him about that Or should I let it go like everytime and pretend like nothing happened? Please suggest.
Thank you for reading.
Regards ,
Hakuna matata
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You should let both of your parents know the grievances that you have with each of them and ask them to be more considerate.
ReplyHi ! I’m Sophia a therapist and phycologist here on Novni .
I’ve heard so many stories like yours and I say the same thing every time .
If you feel like your dad is demotivating you than you need to confront him about it , don’t have a go , but just have a talk with him . It doesn’t have to be an argument and it doesn’t need to be a long conversation .
You just need to say “ dad , I know you mean well by what you say , but sometimes some of the words just hurt “ . Just tell him in a positive and polite manner .
On the other hand , your mum , you also need to confront her . If you tell her to keep a secret then she shouldn’t be telling your dad .
Again it doesn’t need to be an argument . Just say “ mum , when I tell you to keep a secret and not tell dad , then I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell him because it sometimes feels like you kind of betray me and the secret “ .
That’s all you have to do . Anymore questions please ask me .
Hope this helped and hope you sort your problems out , i wish you the best xx
ReplyThank you so muchh
ReplyI am a dad, and all I can think is that parents definitely don't have a manual to follow on how to be the best parent. So it's possible your dad has no idea his words are hurting you. As someone else commented on your post - I would want my son or daughter to ask me to sit down with them for an open honest communication. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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