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i sometimes think ill get cheated on. my boyfriend is head over heels for me but sometimes i just imagine a girl flirting with him and him falling for it. i think the reason i keep thinking this is because im not confident in myself. i feel like i don’t deserve him and i feel like one day he’ll realize this and wont want me anymore. were eachothers first loves so if we were to break up i dont think id be able to heal for long time. i just keep getting this anxious feeling that hell find another goth girl who he sees hotter than me or who hell get the urge to fuck with while im not there. im not the prettiest and i kmow it. i got a big nose and kinda big forehead and my cheeks are fat and my lips are tiny. i dont have a hot body either. my shoulders feel like a mans and i have hip dips and my fingers are so short and wrinkley for some reason. the only thing i like about myself is my eyes and my hair. how do i stop feeling like this.
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It could be a matter of not being with him long enough yet. My insecurity of being cheated on naturally disappeared as time went on & my SO showed no sign of romantic interest on anyone else.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I found that it doesn't matter whether I don't like my poofy hair or how I'd like my chest to be flat. We can't have a say in how another person feels about something/someone. They're their own person and have their own preferences. Your "garbage" could be their treasure, and your "treasure" could be their garbage. So what I've learned is to take their word for it.
Yes they could be lying, or they could be misidentifying their own perceptions. But that's for the backburner. When it does happen, then you've simply came to know more about the person's nature.
For your question, imo it doesn't even matter how a person looks, when they show that they own their flaws as well as their merits. That attitude becomes charisma. Like yeah I have leg hair and strands of beard for some reason, but I can't choose what body I'm in and I just deal with it. If anyone make fun of it then what do they want me to do? Transfer body? No such thing. We do our best with what we have and that's the respectable thing anyone can do. That's how you self-love, imo.
You can try asking what he honestly like & dislike about you, and why you of all people are his first love. Communication is very very important, especially for uncomfortable but deeper topics. I think as long as you two really do care for each other & work with each other, it may go well.
ReplyOh heck I can't edit my comment. I meant to add, I didn't mean to say that I do nothing about my leg hair and beard. I shave them, that's what I meant by "doing one's best". I'm kinda chubby? Well I cut carbs and try to exercise. Not motivated to exercise cuz of ADHD? Find out how to work with my ADHD.
You can appeal to bf's taste, like I shave because he doesn't like the body hairs. But ultimately, don't lose sight of yourself & become too dependent on anyone else's judgment of you. Be a person who can stand on their own, but not isolated and can give & receive love, as love can make us stronger together. "Monke together strong".
Heck for all you know, he could be having the same insecure thoughts as you sometimes. Tell HIM what you like & dislike about him, and why he of all people is your first love.
Replythank u so much this actually helped alot! :3
ReplyYe no problem! Best wishes
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