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Good day! I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy for more than 2 years. He has visited me for 4 times already and we message everyday and video call almost every day. Last year, with his second visit I wanted to borrow his phone, just to check something but he was hesitant and I had some kind of feeling about it.
So the 3rd time he came over, while he was asleep, I checked his phone. I discovered a lot of things that made my heart sank. Some of them is that he has been subscribing to only fans and I didn't know about it for 2 yrs, he was s*xting with other girls while I was alseep, he was video call s*Xing with others while we were messaging each other, he had tons of n*des on his photos bin from different girls. My hands were shaking from the discovery and I talked to him about it. I asked him if he needs to confess something to me, but he was ardent in saying that he didn't have any. I told him and he said the n*des were even from before our relationship and that he did those with other girls Because I would leave him every time I got upset (which is true) and it made him empty.
We have been in constant arguing that time . And he has been begging for a 2nd chance which I did slowly and reluctantly.
1 month after, when I was gonna have my birthday, he came over again for the 4th time to celebrate here with me.
I obviously checked his phone while he was asleep, and I discovered that the same weeks he was asking me to give him another chance, he was on multiple p*rn sites, live chat p*rns with girls, he was on online websites (most probably to jerk off).
He had some n*des saved on a folder that was last opened a week ago he came over.
And I even discovered from his email that months into our relationship, he had emailed his ex telling her how much he missed her and wanted a new start. I also discovered a folder with the pictures of his past exes and the letters he gave them and their pictures together.
I am struggling to move on and breaking up because I keep going back to him though I've been breaking up with him. He would never give up on messaging me and stuff. He is my first relationship and first love. He has done a lot for me, has always been there and supported me. And he would take those long hours and the financials to come over meet me and my family and go to places with me and even get me expensive things. Planning our future, asking me to move over and live with him next year. I am so confused on how he can put all those efforts and budget on me yet do awful things behind my back. He has crossed so many boundaries and never even told me about it, I had to find out every single time myself. I have not been perfect, but I've been honest and loyal to him.
He has broken the foundation of our trust, respect and loyalty.
Please give me advice on what to do, how to do it, and how to shift my perception or just anything. I am struggling to let him go and move on.
Thank you !🥺🩷
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That's really puzzling… I'd be totally fine with my SO looking at porn, texting girls & ex-gf since those by themselves aren't indicative of him pursuing love for them. But saying he "want to start over" with ex-gf? Yet still committing for you too? I'm really unsure.
Is he a polyamorous guy maybe? So like he can love & commit to multiple partners in the same level?
ReplyYeah it was puzzling. A few months after the start of our relationship, he emailed his ex telling her how much he misses her and can't stop thinking of her and wants to start over. I've only read that email lately which is 2 years later, his ex didn't want anything to do with him.
I confronted him and he said that it wasn't easy losing the feelings for his ex especially at the start of our relationship. They also have a kid with each other.
Like I understand that, but way back he assured me that he loves me. I felt like a rebound girl. And I think if she agreed with him, he would've gotten Rid of our relationship or smth. It was like a safety net with me, and I didn't know about that until recently.
Replybreak up+ block + move Materialistic chize itna matter nhi karti if someone is constantly breaking your heart
Kya fayda support karne ka jab support karne wala ho sbse jayda hurt kar deta hai Sirf apne aap ko bar bar hurt karna apne aap ko dhokha dena hai
Sis u are strong and beautiful
ReplyThat's a wise and lovely advice, thank you! 🥺❤️
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