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The weight of being the eldest daughter feels like an unrelenting burden. I’m 30 years old and the eldest daughter in a family marked by a challenging past. To sum it up, we were grappling with significant financial difficulties, and my relationship with my late father was strained and while I love him, I still find it hard to forget all the difficulties he brought upon us. He passed away when I was 22 due to a series of health issues. My mother, unintentionally, shared all her worries with me since my childhood. Meanwhile, my younger sister faced her own set of traumas.
In my determination to break generational curses and create a happier life for my family, I worked tirelessly. I got married early, moved out at 23, but continued to provide financial and emotional support. Creating distance helped bring some peace of mind. But recently, my mother visited from abroad for about four months, and unexpectedly, all my accumulated trauma resurfaced, triggering severe anxiety issues.
While I understand my mother's need to share her problems, the toll it takes on me has become overwhelming. Despite years of handling their emotional burdens, I find myself at a breaking point. The responsibility to give my family a better life feels too much to bear. The anxiety has manifested physically, causing dizziness, and I've reached a point where seeking therapy is imperative. I often cry, and it's disheartening that nobody asks how I'm truly doing; instead, I find myself absorbing everyone else's worries. I want to tell my mother about my anxiety issues, but I can’t because I was always the strong one.
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How are you doing sweetness?
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your courage and inner strength is massive. What a beautiful heart you have.
Set your boundaries and give yourself the nurturing you were neglected of. You are so loving and kind. Thank you for being you and for all the help and support you have given your family. You are an angel in this world!
ReplySounds like things have been tough, and I want you to know your feelings are totally valid.
Being the oldest in a family dealing with challenges isn't easy. You've been carrying a lot and working hard to break those generational cycles. Kudos for that! But, it's cool to admit when it's getting heavy and take a step back for yourself.
I noticed you're thinking about therapy, and that's a brave move. Taking care of yourself is a must, and you deserve that support. Opening up about anxiety might feel tricky, especially when you're the strong one, but your well-being matters. It's cool to be vulnerable and ask for help.
You're not alone in this. Seeking help is strength, not weakness. Your journey to feeling better is just as important as the support you've been giving. Take it one step at a time, and remember there are people who care and are ready to listen.
Wishing you strength and support on your path to well-being.
Reply