I'm sorry

I feel like the asshole these days. I will try to be something good for you. I gotta figure out how this abandonment demon works so I can appease it before it takes over what I conclude about things I don't know. I'm usually able to hide these things from people but I suppose this ordeal, in this medium just aggravates it to no end, not that it's on you. It's actually a miracle that you have stuck with this. I am often in awe of that alone, and then I get suspicious as to why. So there you go, waiting to be let down, ensnaring you in a trap to let me down. And you end up holding strong and a flash of your sincerity strikes me and I realize my problem. I really want to try to take more space from here, not absence, but not fear checking all of the time. I can do that. I have a lot to carry, as do you, I know that. But I am here for you, for good. Thank you.