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I have no clue if this is normal for me or people like me or if its just ME. I'm muslim so growing up I've never really had any interaction with guys. And me being me, now that I'm slightly older, every guy I see if he gives me some sort of attention then I immediately feel attached to them and it feels so wrong and I HATE IT. I hate seeing guys around my age when passing by because its just awkward like.. yeah. Like today, some guy I kept seeing at this hotel we're both staying at (we live on the same floor so it was bound to happen) we literally saw eachother 8 times in the lift and each time it was just us 2 alone so like me being me my thoughts went a little crazy, (not in a dirty way) and then when I came back to my hotel room all I could think about was HIM. And in my religion I'm supposed to be lowering my gaze, and its so difficult and I will admit I did look at him a fair few times. Not even to be rude, but over the past few years everytime I've fancied some sort of a guy its never been for their looks, personality or anything like that, its just some sort of attachment or something I DO NOT KNOWW. I liked another guy due to us going to school together since we were younger and I'm still not over him yet despite having not seeing him around in about 4 years, and ugh its just so aggravating like when can I just get married so that all this "boy stuff" is over and done with??
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