What is life really?

At the point of writing this, I never thought that in my 30s I would be dealing with most of what I have been dealing with for the last 8 months....see I pictured myself, walking down the aisle to the love of my life by 30 and having the time of our lives in our marriage. I never imagined I would have to deal with a broken relationship, a narcisstic ex who keeps stalking me, no friends, having to go back home to my mum and just holding on to my job to move on with my life.

Deep down I know I am a good human being, I have the capacity to love, to nature, to care. I still believe in love...but ever since I walked out I feel like my life literally stopped and I am living on a pause. I have met many great guys who would love to date me but I kind of feel I would be dragging them on to a messy past especially because my ex doesnt want me to live my life. He has appeared in places he never should have, sent all manner of insults my way...calling me a hoe. It makes me feel scared to actually want to take any step with my life. I really do regret the day I met him.

I have reported the case to the police but I do not feel like they are quick to take action. Apparently, I have to bribe them in order to arrest him and charge him with cyberbullying. When will the woman ever get justice? What will the police do if something actually does happen to me and they had the opportunity to help and they couldn't? I keep praying and hoping to God that he does not do anything stupid to hurt me or harm me but who is to say that he cant also do it?

I cant sleep at night am just tired and stressed out. All I need is peace! All I need is to move on with my life. I wish I could just go far away to a new country and a new place and start my life afresh.